You were mine once

Questions that haunt me Chapter 19

What do you want?
Easy. I want my friends back. I want my first guy back. I wanna fuck the guy I've been talking to. I want to hang out with the guy I make eye contact with every god damn day. I want to start something new with a guy who said he has liked me for awhile. I want to have a thing with a deep guy in my heart who doesn't know his place in my life. I want my sister to heal. I want fiery love again. I want to get lost in the alcohol and smoke till I pass out. I want to let go of the overwhelming difficulties of life. Thats what I want.

What's wrong?
Whats wrong is that Im still breathing but suffocating under these fast few months. I want to get out of this pit that ive dug. Whats wrong is that my sister is barely coping and neither am I. And its fucking hard. Whats wrong is I cant find sleep through out the night. Drowning in my thoughts asking question to myself. Whats wrong is emotions fuck me up. Whats wrong is that nothing seems to be right.