Meant to be His (COMPLETED!)

5 The goodbye

AMBER'S POV
We reached home a little after six in the evening. Jenny was fast asleep in my lap. Probably being in my arms soothed her. We stood outside our small but cozy two bedroom single storey house.
One bedroom was my parents and the other used to be shared by Holly and me, and now there was a crib for Jenny against one wall.

Holly was three years elder to me. She had moved out to live with her boyfriend of 1 year, Martin. She had been so happy and everything had been well until Martin lost his job. He then started drinking, staying out late at nights and finally the abuse started a few months later.

She tried to put up with him for sometime but things only worsened after she fell pregnant with Jenny after Martin forced himself on her. After one brutal night, she decided to run away with Jenny when she was hit by a drunk driver. She was immediately rushed to the hospital. However, by then too much blood had been lost and the doctors hadn't been able to save her.

Looking at the chubby bundle of joy in my arms, I felt grateful for having something of Holly with me. Putting Jenny in her crib, I went for a quick shower.

Stripping out of my clothes, I looked at our wedding rings that fell out of my jeans pocket. Holding them close to my heart, I felt tears threatening my eyes but the moment was cut short when I heard Jenny crying. Putting the rings back in my jeans pocket, I quickly took a shower and went out.

"Ah baby, don't cry, mommy is here" i tried to soothe here picking her up in my arms.

"Shh babygirl, everything is fine, stop crying darling".

With that I took her out to the kitchen to feed her. Inspite of everything that happened, I smiled seeing my baby trying to feed herself, spluttering everything here and there. She never failed to bring a smile to my face.

Soon after finishing, I wiped her mouth and hair and took her for a bath. She immediately giggled, excited for her bath.
I made her a bubble bath and put her inside letting her play with her yellow rubber baby duck.
After sometime, I rinsed her draining the water and then wrapped her in a pink fluffy towel. Dressing in her cute baby pink outfit, we walked outside.

"Dad, you sure you will be fine with her"

"Don't worry Amber, we will be fine" he tried to smile blowing a raspberry on Jenny's stomach, making her gurgle with laughter.

"Jenny baby and nana are going for a walk in the park, right munchkin" dad said making Jenny giggle.

"Thank you dad, I will be back soon" I said trying to control my tears and hugging him.
He just signed, placing his hand on my head and walked outside with Jenny".

"I have to do this" with that thought in my mind, I drove in my old second hand car to the graveyard.
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The drive was a short one. As I reached, I found my cheeks wet and I sat in the car for a good fifteen minutes before I gathered enough courage to get down.

With heavy steps and leaves crunching under my shoes, I made my way to Dylan's grave. I lowered myself to the ground before his stone, placing a single red rose, I bought on the way.

Then brushing the old leaves and twigs from his grave, I sat there unmoving, letting the tears spill with my loud sobs being the only noise in the errie silence of the graveyard. The deafening silence hit me right across the face of how lonely I had actually gotten.

"Hey Dylan! How are you. You know I wanted to come visit you earlier but I couldn't. I wanted to be there to say a final goodbye too but I couldn't.
Why would you leave me. Why would you leave me behind. Your last words still ring in my mind about how you said you knew you wouldnot be able to make it.
When I gained consciousness, I somehow hoped you would be wrong, deep down I had a hope that you would be alright, that we would be together.
That you would somehow make it, that we would somehow make it.
Only if everything was not how it turned out, we would be together right now on our honeymoon and everything would have been fine.
How could you leave me alone".
Everything before me blurred and i felt a soft touch on my face. I immediately turned sensing Dylan around.

"Dylan is that you. I know you are here. I can feel you"
With that, I felt a soft breeze blowing around me as if Dylan was reminding me that he would always be with me.

"You know Jenny called you 'dadda' today, for the first time. She made a drawing with four of us as a family, you, me, her and dad.
I recorded the moment, it was just so perfect. I know how much you would have been happy hearing her call you 'dadda'.
But I know that wherever you are, you are watching over us and living your every first moment with Jenny. I can feel you around us"
And with that I felt the soft breeze like Dylan wrapping his arms around me.

"She misses you and so do I. Please come back....please...please".

Resting my head on his stone, I stayed in that position for sometime, remembering our small moments, happy moments, silly fights, his smiling eyes, his smile, our wedding and everything in between.

With one last kiss, I stood up, wrapping my shawl tightly around myself,
"Goodbye Dylan, I will come visit soon,
Love you"
I turned around and left with a heavy heart.
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As soon as I reached back home, I saw Jenny playing with her toys and dad sitting quietly on his rocking chair.
Hearing my footsteps, Jenny immediately looked up and hobbled over to me hugging my legs.
"Mommy" she squealed
I scooped her up in my arms kissing her soft curls and walked over to my dad kissing him on his cheek.
I gave him a small smile to the silent question in his eyes and made my way to my bedroom with Jenny.

I changed her diaper, fed her and put her to bed for the night after reading her favourite princess story.
Within a fer minutes, she was fast asleep on her back, with her arms stretched above her head. Just like Holly used to as a child which I remember from the photographs we used to see occasionally on a Sunday as a family. Those were happy times.

I signed and made my way to the jeans I had discarded earlier in the evening.
Taking out our engagement and wedding rings, I lovingly felt the carving with my index finger as a tear left my eye.

"To my love, forever and ever, Dylan"
"To my love, forever and ever, Amber"

Staring at the rings in my palm for a long time, I made my way to the small cupboard in the corner of my room and took out the small antique box that was my mother's. It had all my memories of my mother and sister. And today there was an addition in these precious memories.

I love you Dylan
Were my last thoughts before I fell in a restless sleep.

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Okay guys
That's it for this chapter.
I hope you like it...I have put a lot of effort in this.

It was a pretty emotional chapter to write but I have tried my best to put emotions into it.

However, if you still feel something is missing, just let me know, and I will consider it...

Bye bye (:
(until next time)