White Noise {punk l.h. au} Sequel to "Colours {punk l.h. au}"

22

it's just...that picture is just so fucking nice i mean look at it

It's been a few days since I last saw Luke in person. I didn't really think I would go through Luke withdrawal that was worse than the seven years he was gone for. Granted last time I basically convinced myself that he probably wasn't coming back, but this time was different. I knew he was coming back for me which made every second agonizingly painful.

I called him on the tacky flip phone he gave me every night when I was sure Caleb was asleep out on the couch in the living room. Tonight was going to be no different, but to my luck it was. I was just about to reach into my bag to retrieve the phone, but I heard a knock on the closed bedroom door. I quickly got into the bed to make it look like I was just about to go to sleep, "It's open!" I called out.

I heard the doorknob twist and the door was pushed away from its hinge. Through the opening between the frame and the door itself poked a head mopped with familiar dark brown, long, curly locks. Caleb walk into the bedroom with this hands dug into the pockets of his black sweatpants. I looked up at him through my eyelashes wondering if this were going to be the night he asked for his bed back.

"Hey." He greeted simply before sitting on the edge of the bed. I gave him a confused smile before responded back with a quiet hello. I watched him closely as he started to play with one of the loose threads on the comforter. He was stalling; I could tell. I sat up and pushed the covers off me as he finally spoke, "I called in sick for tomorrow."

"How come?" I wondered. I sort of liked the space him going to work gave me. It left me alone with my thoughts, but not for too long.

"To be with you. Maybe convince you to stay...with me."

I let out a small sigh before scooting closer to him, "Caleb-"

"You don't love me though, right? How stupid of me to even think I could try to convince you to come back to me." He said.

"It's not like that." I defended.

"It's exactly like that! You left me the minute your ex came back. Was I just a distraction until he got back? Hm? Did you just use me for the time being?" He started to get a little mean. Not like I didn't deserve it though.

I reached over and covered my hand over his that was supporting his body weight on the bed, "I love you, Caleb. I really do, but it's unfair for me to be with you when I'm in love with someone else." I didn't waste time in sugar coating anything. I knew that if I held back to spare his feelings, I would worsen the situation.

"I can't lose you, Rebecca. I need you." He begged.

"You deserve so much better than me." I told him.

"Please just give me one more chance. I want to marry you, Rebecca. We're meant to be together!" His voice cracked as he rose it a little. I looked into his green orbs to see tears starting to form in his tear ducts. My heart shattered seeing what I did to him. I crawled over to him and stood on my knees taking him in for a friendly hug. His arms instantly wrapped themselves around the small of my back, burying his head into the crook of my neck.

My right hand stroked the back of his head as we embraced. After a few sentimental moments, I pulled away to look him in the glossy eyes, "Listen to me, you're going to find someone who is going to love you endlessly. You deserve someone who can devote herself entirely to you. You're going to find that person someday, she just isn't m-"

I couldn't finish my sentence because I felt a pair of lips crashing onto mine. I was taken aback at first, but I kissed back. I don't know what came over me, but I couldn't stop. I knew this was going to complicate things further, but I couldn't muster up enough will power to stop.

x.x.x

The next morning, the sun was hiding behind a gray blanket of thick stratus clouds. I found myself waking up from only a couple hours of sleep due to the previous night's activities. Soon enough the memories came flooding back in...

We both were silent as our clothes were thrown haphazardly around the room. Before I knew it, I had a larger body hovering over my naked one. The comforter was pulled up over the broad back of the man hovering over me. Both of his forearms were resting on either side of my hand supporting his body above my own. His fingers danced along the sides of my face as his hips rolled into mine.

It was loving.

It was sweet.

And it was everything it wasn't before.

That's what scared me.

I somehow managed to slip out of the bed and clothed myself without waking the sleeping body in the room with me. All that was on my mind at this moment was how I needed to leave and never show my face here again.

I grabbed my bag after leaving a little note on the pillow beside him and tiptoed out of the bedroom. The note was simple, but it said everything that I needed to say which was primarily that I was sorry. I wasn't sure how I was ever going to forgive myself for what I did, but I can start by changing my scenery.

I tossed my bag into my car and shut myself inside the driver's seat. I grabbed my iPhone and quickly dialed a number that I haven't dialed in a while. I called someone who I knew I could always count on from day one.

After a couple of rings, the other line picked up and the familiar, angelic voice spoke on the other line, "Hello?"

"Michael? It's Rebecca. I need your help."

ITS SHORT AH BUT OMG REBECCA IS ONE CONFUSED MOFO!!! writing this made me super emo bc i feel sO bad for caleb bUTTT u know me, i always have to complicate things