I Know Places / b.s.

Cinq

Brad and I sat on the couch, watching a movie that he randomly chose off of Netflix. It wasn't that interesting, but I also didn't have the attention span for it now. Just an hour ago I was hysterically crying in the ran.

I glanced over at him just as he looked over at me. He gave me a faint smile, "feel better?"

I shrugged, "a little."

"You can talk about it, you know," he offered.

"I don't talk about it, maybe that's my problem," I sighed. "I want to, I just don't know how. Today was the first day I opened up to Beth about it. That's why I was so upset. It drains me of all my energy to completely recall that night."

"Where were you guys going?" Brad asked.

"We were visiting some friends in New Jersey and it was kind of late. We were at this huge intersection by the highway and when the light turned green, Charlie went and a drunk driver ran the light at 80 miles per hour, hitting us from his side. The impact somehow flipped the car a few times and I just remember blacking out for a few minutes. I woke up and we were upside down," I breathed. "This cop was trying to my me lose from the car - but my seatbelt wasn't working. I was screaming for Charlie and I just saw it in the cops eyes when he looked at me that there was no hope for him. I was so frustrated because I wanted them to tend to him first - I was almost refusing the cop to cut my belt until he helped Charlie but he dragged me out of the car."

Brad was listening carefully. His expression was relaxed, but his cheeks were a little flushed.

I went on, "on the way to the hospital, they lost me for a few minutes, I guess. There was some internal bleeding and I had a pretty messed up head. I just remember my life kind of flashing before me. It was dark and cold but I felt nothing else until the medic revived me. My parents got to the hospital and we're just wrecks. It's just... It's the hardest thing in the world to explain."

"But you're doing a pretty good job at it," he stated. "I'm so sorry that you had to go through that all."

I sighed. "My mom and dad can barley look at me because I was the last person to see Charlie before he did. They're almost mad at me because I hold this memory of him."

"I don't think that can be true-"

I stopped him, "it's true, Brad. Everyone knows it... That's why I'm here and not there."

He cocked his head. "Maybe this place isn't so bad after all. Do you really think you'd be happy at home?"

"I'm barley happy here. I just want to be my old self again," I cried, "I lost everything that night, not just my brother. It's something I'm going to have to live with for the rest of my life and I just can't help but wonder if a second chance is worth it when I have to remember this."

"It's worth it," Brad said, "you deserve so much more and I'm sure Charlie would want you to make the best of it. It just proves that life can be torn away from us at any point, and we need to make the best of it. You have a chance to do everything that you've ever wanted to do."

Brad's words resinated in me and I knew deep down that he was right. He pat his lap, his way of motioning me to come closer. I didn't hesitate, cuddling up beside him.

I felt so comfortable in his arms, feeling him brush my hair back in such a soothing way. It felt good physically and emotional to have him.

"Tell me about Charlie," Brad said. "What was he like?"

I smiled a little, feeling tears of sadness and happiness flood my eyes. All memories were happy except the last one we shared - the one where he died right next to me.

"He's two years older than me," I began, "he always stuck by my side through everything. We were close growing up - never really had a sibling rivalry, even though I ended up dating his best friend my freshman year of college. He hated that so much. Charlie looked over me. As much as he was a pain in my ass, he was my best friend. It's only been two months and I barley remember his voice, but I remember his laugh."

"He sounded great," Brad smiled.

"He was," I cried.

Silence came between us as I sniffled and pushed back my tears. Brad rubbed my back a little, soothing me with sweet words.

"How badly were you hurt?" Brad asked, his voice was deep but I knew he was genuinely curious.

I moved away from him to get a better look at him, but I still stayed close. He looked so sweet and curious, and I longed to kiss him again.

"I hit my head on the window, which caused me to bleed out pretty badly. I had a lot of cuts and bruises and a pretty bad concussion. The doctors said I had internal bleeding. The medic was so persistent on keeping me alive. No one thought I'd make it out of that night alive."

He took a sharp breath. "Wow, that's awful. I can't imagine how much pain you were in.... Also, Olivia, I'm sorry about what I said when we met - I was such a dick, saying that you were probably here for no reason-"

I cut him off, "it's okay, I wasn't offended or anything. Your bad attitude was funny to me. I mean, it pissed me off to see you act like that because you can get better so easily, you just need to be positive."

"I'm sorry," he said.

"I didn't tell you about the accident because I liked your snarky comments. You didn't treat me like I'm some broken girl," I revealed.

He smiled a little. "I'm happy you told me now though. I'm a little curious to see how you were before the accident though. This clearly isn't you."

"This is me now," I groaned, "I don't think I'll ever see the old me again. There's no way someone just goes back to normal after something like this."

"Maybe," he shrugged, "but you don't seem like the kind of person who just gives up when she thinks something isn't possible."

I looked over at him, a little taken back by his sweet words. He pulled me back into his arms and kissed the top of me head. We snuggled under a blanket and I rested my hand on his stomach.

"Thank you for listening," I told him.

"Anytime."

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Note: short but the next one will make up for it, I promise ;)