I Know Places / b.s.

+ where we belong

Get the tissues ready. It's taken me so long to write this, I apologize. Also, not to be technical -- I know kindergarten is a thing in the US, I'm not sure about the UK. Just go along with it. Please comment throughout.
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The five year old standing at the front door has her hair up in pigtails; long brown curls spiraling down to her shoulders. Her soft pink cheeks are puffy enough to want to pinch but Sadie loves when we tickle her, her laughter illuminating the entire house. So precious, kind, and innocent. On her back, she wears a bright pink backpack that's glittery. Brad's been mumbling to himself all week about 'all the goddamn glitter' he's found on himself.

"You're a big girl now," I told her, kneeling down to almost eye level with her. She's small for her age, but she reaches up and puts her hands to my cheeks. "I love you, baby girl."

"I love you too, mummy," Sadie giggled. "And baby," her hands moved to my swelling belly. "And daddy!" She stepped closer to me, kissing my lips softly before I pulled her into a hug. I can't believe it's her first day of kindergarten. It feels like yesterday we were holding her in our arms for the first time.

"Where's my little kindergartener?" Bradley walked into the foyer, smiling widely as he scooped Sadie up and held her in his arms. "Aren't you just the prettiest little girl."

Sadie giggled, nuzzling her face against Brad's neck shyly. I can't up but giggle too, standing up and stepping towards them. In the last five years we've been the happiest family.

"Mummy did my hair," Sadie told Brad, she tends to ramble on and on to him about silly things but he loves to listen. Staring at her with such adoration that makes my heart swell with happiness and love. "...and she told me that the baby would be a boy which means I get a little brother. But I won't be able to play with him."

"No," Brad shook his head frowning, "not until he gets a little older. Babies are delicate little things, just like your pregnant mummy."

I playfully glared at him, though he found amusement in my annoyance just how he found my mood swings 'cute'. He truly is a one of a kind man, but I'm grateful that he's mine.

"That's because mummy has a baby inside of her," Sadie explained adorably. "And mummy is pretty too. Right, daddy?"

"Mummy's the most beautiful woman," Brad smiled sweetly at Sadie, bopping her nose before looking over to me and taking my hand in his.

Not only am I emotional because I'm pregnant but also because today's a big day for Sadie. She is starting to be dependent and as much as I love watching her grow up, I just wish she could stay in my arms forever. Bradley brushed his fingers over my knuckles, leaning forward to kiss my cheeks softly.

"We should get going," he mentioned.

I almost say no simply for selfish reasons, but I know that this isn't just hard on me. Brad puts Sadie down and grabs the keys from the small table perched up against the wall beside us. He takes my hand and leads me out to the car where he makes sure Sadie's strapped into her carseat before getting into the driver's seat.

I sit anxiously in the passenger seat, my hands on my pultruding six month belly and try to calm myself down. The ride to the school isn't very long which makes my anxiety heighten with each green light we make. Sadie happily sits in the back humming to a song on the radio.