//finchel//
Glee clubs bubbly Rachel isn't as bubbly and happy as everyone thinks.
Something's happened that haunts her, now it's up to a certain quarterback to help her.
*note* this story is dark, and includes self harm and other damaging things t...
The dirty bastard pushed inside of me, I hated this. The feeling is awful. The feeling of being helpless, alone, used. I fought as hard as I could. I really did, but I was weak.
It hurt so much, I never imagined my first time like this. I never even wanted this dirty douchebag to be my first. I was crying and naked and bruised. I couldn't help but have th tears fall, along with my loud sobs.
"I said, shut up!" He yelled slapping
With each thrust he hit me, harder than the last time, he just keep hitting and hitting,
"You like that? Yeah? I know you do, you little bitch!" "Please. Stop" I begged crying
Slap, punch, thrust, slap, punch, thrust
"Yeahh" "Nooooooo" I yelled "somebody help me!!! Anybody!!!! Please!!!!!!"
October 12, 2009 2:33 a.m
I woke up, sweaty like last time. Another nightmare. It's the same one. The same stupid feeling, the same stupid place, the same stupid guy who ruined my life.
My life was perfectly normal, and now I have to deal with this, I've never been one to curse, but, FUCK MY LIFE,
My dads have gone to work more often. We need the money, and with all my problems, there trying their best, to get me the best, but I don't want it. I just want it to be over.
I use to love New York. It was the birthplace of my dreams, Broadway, Barbra. But now it's where all that died. I don't know what happened, but something inside of me just....broke.
It got worst, it's been getting worse. I just see him everywhere now. I remember his face so clearly, and his voice, that horrible sound, I will never forget.
I should go back to sleep, considering I have school later, but it'll be the same as last time. Awful. Before the taunts and the snickers would just roll of my back, now, the walls seem to be closing in, and the room gets smaller, and I feel like I can't breathe.
I feel like when he stole my innocence, he got my strength as well.
Even glee club can't help me. I sit in the back, keep quiet, cover my face. No one seems to notice, or care. Which I don't really mind. I want to be alone. There's only five of us. Mr.schue wants more kids to join, but we're as good as it gets.
Obviously I can't go back to sleep, I'm not about to endure another horrible nightmare. So I decide to use the method to show me its real, it really happened, and there's no going back. I'm here and he's there, but he still has it, my pride.
I walk into the bathroom tune on the bright lights, let my eyes adjust, and stare. I stare at the girl in the mirror. She looks nothing like the old Rachel Berry. This one looks scared, and small, hollow, even. Like she's empty and has a cracking shell on the outside.
All those thoughts, all those words creep into my mind. The pain the humiliation, it's all there. It's all true. I stare and look at myself. My nose is big, I'm unnaturally short, and I will never be as pretty or popular as those cheerleaders who point out my flaws.
I find the small metal companion who has always gave me a slap of reality. They're right, they've always been right. Every Time the cool metal touches my skin, it's like I'm in a trance, and I have to make the pain go away, and I can't stop it.
So I cut my arms three times on each arm. Once for the nose, twice for the useless person I am, third, for being weak and defenseless against him.
Three times a charm right?
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
