The Sad Truth

Chapter twenty-nine

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It's been a month and I've barley spoken to anyone. Just mostly Finn and Santana. They always come over to make sure I'm ok. But I'm not, nor will I ever be. I've been missing school a lot but I don't care. My dads will came in the mail. I haven't had the courage to look at it. I don't want to know what they left me.

I started cutting myself again. But I haven't told anyone. I don't want them to feel more pity. I'm thinking of breaking up with Finn. I really really really like him, but he deserves so much better.

Knock knock

I go to the door because it's probably San or Finn but instead I see the one person who I'm starting to truly hate.

"Hi Rachel," she greets
"What do you want shelby?" I ask
"I got the papers asking if I wanted to have soul custody of you, but I'm not ready to be a mother, especially to a teenager" she explains guilty

I just stare at her. Not even my own birth mom wants me. That's how damaged I am.

"So Im sorry, but I just can't," she explains leaving the papers with me

She walks off and keeps glancing back at me. I am officially over all this bull shit called life. First I get raped, then I'm forced to face the douche, then my dads die as soon as I found my birth mom, oh and she doesn't even want me. Life just keeps sucking more.

So I decide enough is enough. If nobody wants me then why should I care about anything. I walk to my room and start throwing every girly or innocent piece of clothing I have. I rip it all up and throw it out my window.

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Two weeks later

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I've completely cut off all ties with Finn and Santana and anyone else. I haven't spoken to them for two weeks. Finn tries and Santana tries to but it's as if she's stopped caring now. Whatever.

I've also updated my wardrobe and I've joined a new group. We call ourselves the skanks.

"Lite me" I say with a cigarette in my mouth

It was the four of us under the bleachers. No one really bothers us. I've quit glee because they're all just too much for me to handle right now. Plus they never needed me. No one needs me.

Big Mac lights my cigarette. I smoke my cigarette and stand there just thinking about what glee is doing. Or if they've even noticed I'm gone.

I don't think anyone has seen my new look. Just Santana. I've been avoiding Finn the most, and last time he spoke to me I was still dressing like a hobo.

But next thing you know someone takes my cigarette out of my mouth and throws it on the ground. I just scoff and look up to see who it is.

"Smoking kills"

They told me

I walk away, out of the bleachers and into a building.

"Yeah since when do you care?" I ask pulling out another one
"Since I first met you" they tell me
"Yeah, well leave me alone kitty" I tell her
"No, you're a mess and everyone in glee misses you" kitty explains
"Boo who, all they do is miss my talent" I say bored
"That's not true," she says topping

I take a puff and roll my eyes turing to face her. She has such a big look of pity. Her and Sam are now in glee club, they don't need me.

"What?" I ask annoyed
"What happened to you?" She asked devastated

I took another puff,

"Life, it's a bitch" I answer walking away while smoking

I should probably break up with Finn now that I'm out of glee and stuff. Plus I've been avoiding him so we're not really "dating" anymore.

I know deep in my heart I want him to help me get through this, but the better half is telling him to keep him away from my crazy. So that's what I'm going to do.

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At Rachel's house

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I decided to ditch school and head home. My house is so empty now a days. It's so depressing. I'm smoking another pack of cigarettes and laying on my bed.

I don't know what to do with my life anymore, it feels like everyone left me or didn't want me or just stopped caring.

Thump

I sit up and put out my cigarettes and I see Finn has managed to climb up to my room and reach my window. I walk over to him,

"What the hell are you doing here?" I ask annoyed
"I didn't know how else to talk to you, you've been completely ignoring me" he said
"Did you ever think that maybe I just didn't want to talk to you?" I sort of yell
"Well then just listen," he said stern

I just sit there. I don't know why but I feel so angry at him.

"If you don't get help then I'm breaking up with you" he said stern once more

I feel like my heart just got poked at with a stick and now it's exploding. But this is good. Maybe now he'll be stuck out of my crazy for good.

"Fine by me" I shrugged trying not to cry
"Aren't you going to fight for our relationship? Or at least try to get better?" He asked frustrated
"As far as I'm concerned you need to leave because all you are to me is a liar" I say yelling

He just stands there confused and I start throwing my stuffed animals at him.

"What are you talking about?" He asked shield I himself from Reggie the frog
"You lied to me!" I said

I start throwing pillows

"You said that everything was going to be ok, and it's not! So get out" I yell

I get angrier so I start throwing more and harder. He finally surrenders

"Fine! I'm leaving," he yells

He walks to the door and turns to face me like last time,

"but just know, that in the end I'm still here for you because...because I love you"