The Storyteller

Chapter 19: Departure

She was burning from the inside out. She walked, but did not feel the ground beneath her feet; she saw, but only hazy outlines of the world around her. She pressed a finger to her lips. She had been so certain, so sure of everything in her life. The heroes were undoubtedly good and the villains evil. Her beliefs were unfaltering. She had the image of the man she had pictured herself loving. She had the image of the life she had wanted. What now that a kiss had taken all of her illusions and smashed them like so much glass? She was ugly, she was lame, she was nothing; but if that were truly so then why had he kissed her?

She had realized something in that instant when she had placed herself between Guy and Robin's arrow. The three lessons her mother had taught her about love. She had had them all wrong from the start. They were not ways to be certain you were in love. They were the things you did and felt for and about the one you love. It was not a decision it was a natural course of action. For in that moment she would have gladly died for Guy without another thought.

She shook, she must have smiled, she hugged her arms about herself, recalling how he had held her. Safe, she thought, she had never felt so safe. It was cruel to be alone and experiencing the first realization of being loved by another. It was a thing to be shared, but she was to leave; to flee for her life. For the first time she was thinking selfishly, she didn't want to go anywhere at all! She felt like bolting out the door and rushing to find Guy again. She would leave, and what if she never saw him again after today?

It was Katherine who sensed the instinct in Lynna to run. She touched her shoulder gently. “I know.” She said, “I know what it feels like. Like you want to leap out of your own skin, hm?”

Lynna glanced at Katherine and whispered. “It hurts.”

Katherine chuckled, “It will.”

“I don't want to go.” Lynna said softly.

“And,” Katherine said in a no-nonsense tone, “It can also make you lose your common sense for a time, too. Here, put on these.” She handed her the servant's clothes to change into.

Lynna held them, staring down at them blankly,before going to stand behind the changing screen. She threw her raggedy dress to the floor spitefully, glad to have the thing gone from her. She put on the clean, linen clothes. The simple blouse and dress skirt was plainly made, but it was comfortable. She tied the white wrap about her head, covering her mousy locks. She slipped on the soft soled shoes and walked out slowly, head down.

She could hear Katherine clicking her tongue at her. “Don't give me such a look, Lynna. You should be feeling elated not so downcast.”

“Kathy,” Lynna sighed, “I know you have never treated me as less than your friend, but...look at me.” She gestured to her new clothes, “I am just a weaver girl, and a commoner. I am not a fool. What happened today was...was something out of a story, but stories aren't real.” She said with great effort, “I have no hopes or expectations of ever seeing your brother again.”

Katherine slapped her hard across the cheek. Lynna had never been struck by her before and she gasped more out of shock than pain as she stumbled back, a hand upon her stinging cheek. “Do you love Guy or not?” she asked her brusquely.

“Yes!” she said, “more than anything!”

“And do you trust him?” Katherine continued.

Hesitation this time, “Yes,” Lynna said softly.

“If you do not trust him then you do not love him. You can not have one without the other.” Katherine remarked.

“It is not that I do not trust him,” Lynna said, allowing Katherine to twist her hair into a braid to tuck away in the linen wrap, “but more that I understand I have no future with him.”