I stare at the reflection in the mirror. I seriously do not look capable to give a speech today. My eyes have dark bags underneath them from many late nights. My Lips are dry and cracked from the cold weather in Brighton. My hair is in a knotted top knot from this morning's work out. I walk into the bathroom to have a shower. I stand there letting the warm water drizzle down my back as a million thoughts race through my mind.
I revaluate my reflection after doing my full routine. No more deep, dark bags under my eyes dragging me down. Thank to my makeup I have completely transformed myself. I have a simple yet fancy look. My lips that were dried and cracked are a light pink. My hair is in loose curls falling down my back. I am wearing a blouse with a long skirt and my favourite shoes from Topshop.
"Luke do I look smart enough to give a talk at a seminar?" I ask walking in on him watching a game of football.
"Yes you do. You look gorgeous." He says actually breaking eye contact with the blaring screen.
"I have to go now I guess I will meet you at the Christmas Party at Sapphire's." I smile.
"Yep only twenty days till Christmas my love. See you later." I kiss him on the cheek then run out of the house.
I sit there my hands sweating in the heated wall full of adults and teenagers that have been dragged here by their parents.
"Now we have Adeline Cook up to talk about her battle with mental illness and how she deals with it." Holy crap that is my queue to go up.
"Hello Everyone, I'm Adeline I will be sharing my story of depression and my anxiety. I have clinical depression and generalised anxiety." I say standing up in front of everyone. I start to talk about my sister and my daily battle with mental illness.
"Thank you everyone for listening to my story and I hope you guys use some of the techniques I mentioned." I say closing my speech up. I walk off of the stage and towards the back door. I get into my car and breakdown.
That twenty minute talk has brought up so much stuff. I dig my fingernails into the sides of my thighs. My breathing becomes hard as if someone had just sat on my chest. I try to breathe slowly but my body won't let me. My breathing gets faster and faster, I feel as if I might faint. My head is spinning and my vision is blurry. I can't focus on anything as my mind is just racing. Today is the day Jaqueline died exactly a year ago, while I was standing one the podium I had to recall the time of her death and just now I remember that it is tomorrow that I lost her. I lost my little sister by three minutes. My tears run down my face like a waterfall. All this time I haven't even visited her grave since the funeral. I was so scared to go back by myself. I was so depressed I didn't want to even set foot outside the house let alone into a cemetery.
I look at myself in the mirror as my head stops spinning. My makeup is running down my face. I use a makeup wipe and wipe it all off. I get the makeup bag out of my handbag. I put on concealer and cover up all the redness. Okay put on a happy face you get to see Luke and have a good time.
"Merry Christmas!" Sapphire yells and wraps her arms around me.
"I have missed you way too much. Merry Christmas to you too." I hand her a last minute present I got for her.
"Oh my goodness it is absolutely beautiful Addy Thank you." She opens up the present I got her which is a nice watch.
"Sorry I can't give it to you Christmas day Luke and I are doing something I think." I smile and walk into her house.
"Oh where is Luke by the way."
"He went up to the bathroom like a minute ago."
"Thanks Sapphire. " I smile and run up the stairs to the only bathroom in her whole house.
I knock on the bathroom door and get no response. I slowly open the door to not make a noise. I look around and see the Luke is sitting on the toilet seat with his hands covering his face.
"Luke. What's wrong" I rush over to be by his side.
"Adeline I don't know how but it just happened." He looks up to me.
"Babe what happened you can tell me anything I love you." I wipe the tears off of his face.
"Today is a bad day. The 5th of December has always been the worst for four years now." I hold him type and rub his back.
"And I... I kissed another women." I am stunned.
"Like for a second right then you stopped." I ask.
"I wish I could say that." Tears threaten to fall down my cheek.
"What did you do Luke?" I say gritting my teeth.
"We...We made out. But I regret it so much. I was drunk." He stutters. The tears make there ways down my cheek.
"I understand your father died this day four years ago but it doesn't make me any less upset okay. I thought you were different. But you have joined the list of people who have cheated on me." I start to walk out of the room.
"But I love you Adeline."
"The words I love you don't just magically take back actions okay and are you sure you love me come on you're twenty one I'm sure you don't want to be tied down by me. I love you but I need time to think and to be alone." I walk out leaving him alone.
I sit on the bottom of the staircase crying. This is the third guy that has cheated on me.
However this is the first guy who has cheated on me that I have fallen completely in love with.
