My Psycho Jock (bxb)

Chapter 11 Lies Of Loving You

Edward Dawson

After a minute or two I heard footsteps coming down from the stairs. I squirm in my position even though I know how useless it was for me. The fear had been shaking all through my naked body making me trembling with every shivers. What now?

Surely I don't want to be rape. I'm a virgin for god sake. This is no way to lose your virginity. I don't want things to be like this, not like this. I could've think of a way out or plan on stabbing Ben or something but noooo....my virginity is more important right now isn't it?

I need to talk to him. Reason with him. Who knows, deep down inside he's still is the Benjamin that I know. The Benjamin that used to be my best buds. The innocent and protective Benjamin.

"Ben?" I called out.

"Yeah babe?"

I startled as his voice were inches away from my face. The room were dark making it hard for me to see that he was sitting just beside me, staring at my face like he wanted to cut my skin out. Oh my god he won't do that won't he? No of course not.

"Remember when you said...I mean when you want me to tell you that when...when the time c...comes..." I breath as the air around me  suddenly becomes more thick.

"Yeah?" Ben ask with a wide grin on his face.

"When the time comes you said that I will love you too?"

"Of yeah I remember that. That was the first time I said I love you." Slowly, I can see Ben's eye grew darker as his face scrunched up in anger. "But you didn't say it back...you filthy lowlife!!!"

Slap!!!

I feel the painful burn in my cheeks radiate through my face. "No...no...its not...its not like that. Please...please stop. It's not what you think." At this rate I was sobbing my eyes out. Tears falling more frequently until I have no control of them and my body whatsoever.

"Then what is it?" Benjamin hissed.

"I...I didn't said it back because...because I want to save it." I lied. I remember that day too. It was buried deep down in my mind. No idea why but it does. I hope this is the reason why.

"What the fuck are you talking about?!" Benjamin got up from the bed and walked towards the walls as he pace back and forth.

I controlled myself and said what I planned on saying. I mean planned on lying. "For me. Those words were precious. I don't want to say it all the time because...because I don't want you to...to get bored by it. So...so..." I look around the floor to make up for the right word.

"So?" Benjamin growled.

"So when the time comes, I would say it and it would be perfect."

I could see between my teary eyes, Benjamin's face had turn soft. He walked back beside me and caressed my cheeks. I tried my hardest not to flinch at his touch.

"I love you." I said. "I love you Ben. I...I really do." I said slowly.

"Ohh babe...you really do?"

I nod. "Yes I do. But can you let me go? This rope really hurts my hand." God knows I try to make the best puppy eyed dog and look pathetic enough.

Benjamin tilted his head and caress my face onto my hair and my chest and back to my face. His eyes were gleaming with happiness. Sick!

"Oh Eddie. If only I was that 9 year old kid again. Only then I would've trusted you."

Shit.

Benjamin stopped his caress and pinch both of my cheeks between his hand. "But I'm not! You don't love me. If you did you wouldn't leave me. If you did love me you wouldn't try to kill yourself and left me in this world all alone!!!"

Ben cried as he sobs loudly on my chest, gripping my torn T-shirts tightly. I can feel my chest getting wet with his tears. At this point, I don't even know if its acting or real. His too son of a Satan. I can't trust him. I will never trust him.

Benjamin suddenly stop[ed sobbing and bring up his face to meet mine. I can see his nose and eyes were puffy red from the cry. 

"But still. It feels really great to hear it. Say it again." Benjamin adjust his position and scooted closer to me. "Come on now."

"I...I...lo..." I wanted the word to escape my mouth but since I'm not lying anymore, the word sink again. "I...I can't." I gave up as both my shoulders slumped from the force of saying such special word to the person who could or just might kill me soon. 

"Why not!!!???" Ben screamed and his voice echoed through the room making me jump.

God forbid me to tell him why.

"Answer me goddamn it or I swear you won't live to see tomorrow." I gulped at his threat.

"Because I don't love you." I said calmly even though my heart were beating for a thousand miles. "Why should I? You hold me captive. You took me away from my home and now you want to rape me. Why should I love you when you're about to do all of those sick things to me?"

As I finish, I let out a breath of relief which I didn't knew I was holding. Ben looked at me as he try to searched the truthfulness in my eyes. And then he laugh. He hold his stomach and wipe away his laughing tears.

"Oh shit, that was really funny. Babe.....I didn't kidnapped you. I just brought you to our new home. We're going to live here from now on. What? you think I'm that desperate to kidnapped you?" Ben traced his hand slowly down to my crotch. 

"I just take what was mine in the first place. You belong to me Eddie. You always did. From the day you come to this earth which is on the 28th of August 1996, 7:50 p.m at the Heavenly Bee medical hospital, you have always been mine...and I am not gonna let anyone..." Ben hands reached between my thigh. "Anyone..." His hand went further as I struggle to keep both of my legs close but fail immensely when he moved to kneel in between my legs and spread them wide open making me scream from the strong force. "Take you away from me. Not even god himself baby...Not even god."

With that he shoved his index finger through my hole and twirl them around. I squirm as I try to close my legs but his strong grip makes it impossible for me to move at all.

I look down at Ben and see him pumping his cock as his other hand played with my hole. His tongue lick his lips in the most sickest way I could ever imagine. Ben pumped his finger into my hole harshly, hitting my prostate now and then making me turning into a complete moaning mess.

"Ben..ahhh...Ben stop. Oh my god..ah..ah..ah..ah. Stop please."

Ben leaned his body forward towards in between my leg so that his face were close to me. He pecked me in the lips and grin.

"Tell me you love me Ed." He whispered beside my ears erotically while his finger twirl around my hole more harsh and fast.

"Please stop. Don't do this. Stop." Tears flows out of my eyes and my heart were wrenched into pieces. The broken soul inside of me were clearly turning me numb from all of the feelings in this world. Hope seems merely a meaningful meaning to me. Nothing was good enough or worth it for me to believe.

"I love you." I said.