(DISCONTINUED)

○ 4.0 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) And Again... ○

We're fùcking 40 chapters in omg

And we hit 10K!!!!!!

(Actually, we're already at 10.7 ((ACTUALLY NOW ITS 10.9??? TF????)), so all of you deserve a cookie)

I really need to go back and rewrite some of this tho like this fanfic is actually so dumb why are none of you questioning why she's still chillin with a murderer???

Dedicated to samaraxxx for adding this to her "favourites" reading list :)

I've been listening to 'History' on repeat for the whole day bc it makes me really happy idk. It also makes me want to cry, but in a good way - and I don't mean happy tears, I mean sad tears... but good sad tears?? Idk. This doesn't make any sense. All of the boys songs just make me really emotional.

^I wrote that the day I planned on updating and then this ended up being super long. I've been listening to Alphabet Boy on repeat today :)

Enjoy the chapter (u betta bc its 9K words)

*

There was a strange aura around us since we'd confessed our feelings.

Harry had been weirdly distant from me, barely looking at or talking to me unless he had to carry me somewhere or help me with something. It had been another two days since my panic attack, and other than the nightmares I still hadn't told Harry about, things had been undoubtedly pleasant - though that was of course because of the boys' extra efforts to make it so. Boys #1 and 2 (I hadn't cared enough to remember their names) from a few weeks back avoided me at all costs, but Niall, Liam and Louis all went out of their way to make my stay extra comfortable. I guess Harry must have told them what had happened, and of course they all knew firsthand how unpleasant Des could be - not to mention the fact that Liam had witnessed me have a panic attack on the floor of their kitchen.

Two days of doing nothing but watching TV and basically doing jack shìt with them had brought us all a lot closer than before. I had always been closest with Liam and would probably always be closest to Liam, but I had also learned a lot about the other boys, too: like how Niall liked the crusts cut off his sandwiches, and Louis never wore socks. Niall and Liam, being in my history class, helped me catch up what I'd missed, and the school's online syllabus had become my new best friend - along with the four boys I had really learned to like. I was glad that I was finally leaving Frida behind and making my own friends. [[Idk where Frida even is bc I've given up on her okay?? When I rewrite this story she might get a little less irrelevant]]

There had been none of the usual midweek parties either, and I was most thankful for that. I was also thankful that we'd been eating takeout for the past couple of nights, because I didn't need to have another panic attack over a knife - not only for myself, but for Harry. He was visibly on edge, always triple-checking that I was okay at all times and avoiding the topic of Des, knives and blood. I had seen the anxious looks he shot me whenever he thought I wasn't looking, but he always refused to meet my eye.

I didn't understand what had gone wrong.

Was it me? Had he decided he didn't want me anymore? Had he realized that I was too much work?

"Ayyy!" A boy cheered as he unlocked the door. His face was concealed by the two cardboard boxes he was carrying, but I assumed since he had a key to the front door and none of the boys were freaking out, he was one of the only other members of the fraternity: Boys Number One and Two.

Every single person seated in the living room shot the newcomer a glare, before turning back to the movie we were watching. I couldn't even remember the title; I was too busy wondering why Harry wasn't talking to me. Why was my head resting on Liam's shoulder and not his?