(DISCONTINUED)

○ 4.3 :: Lemonade ○

12K EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Dedicated kateMaclay

*

"You have to come, Kat!"

I sighed, sketching another line on the drawing that was already starting to take form. The drawing of the same man I wasn't meant to be thinking about, and yet was plaguing my mind at every moment. Despite my relaxing overnight stay at Edna's that was supposed to clear my mind, as soon as I'd returned my brief break through the surface had ended and everything was currently pulling me back under. The first thing I saw when I walked into the dorm's parking lot was the many times Harry had dropped me off, and in the lift I was attacked by images of him covered in bruises as we travelled down to the kitchen where the first aid kit was. I found myself wishing to feel Harry's hand in mine again as I made my way down the corridor to my room, and part of me hoped to see another bouquet and apology note in front of it.

There wasn't.

My mind wandered as I dug out my keys, remembering Harry's habit of pecking my forehead whilst I unlocked my door. And when I finally had my room open, the first thing that hit me was his smell. The room absolutely reeked of him, so much so that it made me dizzy.

"Harry?" I called, but of course, he wasn't there. Just my memories of him. I dropped my bag and scanned the room, eyes lingering on the vase of bright orange lilies on my dresser. They continued to do so as I threw out the clothes Harry had left here and washed the sheets so that they smelled of the flowery detergent in the laundry room rather than Harry's cologne. For a moment I considered throwing out the Packers hats simply because he'd worn them, but both had been bought by Dad and I knew I couldn't do it - even if they technically were no longer mine. I shoved them as far back into the drawer they came from and slammed it shut, feeling a sense of satisfaction rise up inside as I surveyed my officially Harry-free room (besides the flowers, that is). This is where it begins, I'd thought. My life without Harry.

And here I was in bed four days later, sketching Harry on a Saturday night. I suppose that in my moment of self-empowerment, I had forgotten that while I may have been able to cleanse my room, I couldn't cleanse my mind.

"Kat, are you listening?" Priya called. "You have to come. It'll be good for you."

"A party?" I repeated skeptically.

"Yeah," she said enthusiastically. "It'll be a chance for you to get out of your head."

I sighed and dropped my pencil, rolling my stiff shoulders and neck as I leant back against the headboard. "And what about you?"

"I may not be allowed to drink, but it'll still be fun," she explained. "At least you know that you'll have somebody to look after you if you get too off your face."

"I can't drink away my problems, Priya."

"True," she agreed, "but you can fun them away."

"Is that even a thing?"

"It is now!"

"Priya."

"Come on, Kat," she pleaded. "At least don't make me go on my own."

I mulled over my options. Either I would be sitting here depressed and drawing Harry all night, or I could maybe laugh and dance the night away with Priya. Of course it would all come back in the morning, but for a few hours... "Fine," I relented.