Chapter 23
Its dinner time, I am sitting in the middle of Lucia and Frederic when Tobi starts throwing fries at me. “What’s your problem?” I shout at him. My head is cluttered because of my failing grades, Terence and Stephanie’s dating and the eminent possibility of my brother’s death that I shout loudly at him. And besides, I don’t have time for immature games right now.
Tobi looks startle by the way I responded to him. I used to roll my eyes with a little grin when things like these happen; I used to play along with them even though I don’t get it why do they have to waste food when there are people outside starving. “In case you forgot Keesha, it’s Friday. Food fight day.” He says, reminding me of what should be done today.
Before an argument rise up between us, Terence comes in with Stephanie by his side. Every one of us stare at the new ‘love birds’ of the school. It’s really painful and hard to admit, but they look good together. Terence is the mayor’s son who looks really good in any kind of clothes and becomes more handsome as you stare at him longer. Stephanie on the other hand, is the district representative of Unda who looks insanely beautiful even in ragged dress. They’re perfectness for each other makes my heart ache.
Terence finally introduces Stephanie to us - Tobi, Frederic, Lucia, Nympha and me. I still don’t know if I can call them my friends just by the fact that we’ve been sharing tables, beds, laughter and stories for months now.
“Nice to meet you all.” Stephanie says with a big sweet smile on her face, like she really mean it. She offers her hand to us and Frediric shakes it first and everyone else followed after a while, except for me and Tobi. Tobi already knows Stephanie so they really don’t have to shakes each other’s hands.
I don’t want to be rude, but I don’t have the guts to lie this much - to pretend that I like her for Terence, to smile and shake her hands when all I want is for her to disappear in my best friend’s life. I don’t hate Stephanie, I don’t even blame her if Terence is all crazy about her now, I just can’t like her. It’s impossible for me to be around her and be nice. She reminds me of the things I can’t have and I can’t do for Terence. She’s the constant reminder that I can’t have Terence, that no matter what I do, I am but a friend to the guy I love so much.
I stand up immediately and plan to go far away from them but Frederic stops me in a flash. “Where do you think you’re going? You’re going to skip the food fight again?” he asks while holding the hem of my shirt. I look at him and to the others and to my surprise they are all staring at me.
“I have more important things to do than play nonsense.” I say meanly, mocking his accent. I shove his hand away and walk out without looking at them. I am hurting so bad that I can’t even stay a second with Terence and Stephanie.
Running at the hallway in the middle of the night is not tolerable at school, but I just want to go away, far away from them as fast as possible. Going to our room will only make me feel solitude so I decided to go to the lobby and sit in the velvet couch near the table where I tutor Luke and Train. The whole lobby is in dim light which makes me feel comfortable to cry. There’s no one else in the lobby, so I don’t bother crying. I start to sob. Then I cough and sniff. And cry really hard. I need to let it all out now that I can still handle my emotions.
“I already told you to call me when you’re blue.” Luke’s soothing voice suddenly echoes.
I wipe my face with my shirt and try to be presentable in his presence. “I’m sorry, but I just want to be alone.” I sniff.
He walks smoothly to my direction and then there, I see his handsome face. He really looks like an angel. “You’ll never be alone, in case you’ve forgotten I told you that I won’t let you go anymore. So whether you like it or not, I will be forever by your side.” He says sweetly that my cheeks start to feel hot. This conversation is awkward, but I can’t stop myself from smiling.
“I just want to hide away even for a moment.” I say softly. I don’t see the point of being tough right now since he already saw my most vulnerable side.
He sits to the other edge of the couch and in the dim light I see how heavenly his blue eyes are. “Then…” he starts, “hide with me.”
My eyes widen in surprise. What is happening in here? Why do I have this feeling that this is more than what a good friend is supposed to be doing?
“Come here.” He orders me, and with his charm, I find myself moving closer to him. He puts his arms around me and I feel vulnerable and strong at the same time. It’s weird to feel this way but I ignore my feelings and sink into his body. We stay like that for so long that tears begin to fall again, I try to stop it from falling but I can’t anymore. I cry for hours until his shirt is all wet from my tears. It’s like Luke’s bringing the best and worse out of me all at the same time. It is as if he’s trying to make me feel better by letting me be weak for once. “You’ll be fine soon.” He assures me and I nod at him.
I close my eyes and I feel comfort at Luke’s presence. I’m really grateful that he’s here. I really need someone to hold to right now.
“You don’t deserve this.” he finally whispers and all of a sudden he kisses the top of my head.
It’s the same kiss my mother used to give me when I was down because of people’s teasing but this one feels different. I feel a slight intimacy with his kiss; warm as ignited flame yet as soothing as my mother’s hands. And it’s even longer and deeper than my mom’s. I want to open my eyes and ask him about it, but my embarrassment comes first so I stay at his side, pretending to be asleep. “You should know somehow.” He whispers in my ear and stay silent for a long time.
The lights blind my eyes. I realize that I am no longer in the lobby; I am at our room, in my own bed with my red old blanket enveloping me from toe to chest. Moan is the first thing I release from my throat after hours of crying.
“How did I get here?” I ask Nympha, but she’s on her way out of the room when I asked, I doubt that she heard me.
“Sire Luke carried you all the way here.” Lucia answers instead. “He told me to keep an eye on you. He’s really worried Keesha.”
Suddenly, I feel uncomfortable at Luke. I don’t know why he kissed me last night or what his words meant. All I know is that it can’t happen. He can’t like me. He’s a Sire and I’m just nobody, besides I already love someone else.
I look at Lucia and noticed that there are two small dark circles under her eyes. She stayed up all night just to watch me. Why is everybody so kind to me when I do nothing but push them away? “Thank you” I say softly without mentioning what I am thankful for. She’s a Sage. She knows what I’m talking about; I don’t have to say it out loud.
Lucia smiles at me graciously and say, “What are friends are for, right?”
I’m shock. She considers me as her friend. Everything’s going right and wrong all at the same time. I don’t know what to feel anymore.
“He’s not the only guy Keesha.” She shushes me.
“You know?” I ask her.
“Everyone knows it. I think Terence knows it too, he’s just playing dumb to protect your friendship.” She says calmly.
