Chapter 44
In silence, I wrap myself with my arms and wait for my visitor to come see me. It’s been a week since they forced me to admit every crime they accused. Most of them are true, especially Amber’s murder case but some are complete absurd. Do they really have to add trespassing and treason to my case? I acted on a school property I am enrolled in, I don’t think it is considered trespassing. As for treason, I didn’t go beyond that. Not that I know of.
The room is plain white with a thick glass that separates the prisoner from the visitor. Well it doesn’t really serves its purpose since William visited me the other day and transported inside the visiting quadrant easily. I suspect James and Edward know what I did and Edward forcedly dragged him into this to inject the serum and take my blood for my brother – two month supply to be exact. Of course I didn’t disagree. I can’t argue about conscience and guilt when it’s my brother’s life on the line. A Kent guard attaches a circular device on the thick glass when Luke comes in. He’s in school uniform.
I can’t look at him.
He doesn’t look at me either.
It should be easier since I’ve always been uncomfortable around him, but why do I feel so ashamed? Like all of a sudden I just want to be executed and end all of this and worse, it is not guilt that’s playing. I’ve come to know how guilt works, and this is not one of those times when I cry myself to sleep and repeatedly see Amber and her lifeless green eyes looking at me and her family’s voices and cries playing inside my head telling me how disgusting I am to take something as precious, as sweet and as joyful as her. Even her brother’s reaction when Van told him that it was me who killed her sister is always hunting me in my sleep. I can’t just look at him and find that he disgusts me. I’m afraid of that.
I’m afraid I’ll lose him too just like I lost Terence. “You look better.” I start, just to break the tension building inside me. My eyes are on the walls.
“You too.” He says softly. “Your next trial is today. I’ll be defending your case and present evidence that you didn’t do those crimes.” He explains with a taint of hope in his voice.
“I DID those crimes.” I say firmly and looks at him finally just so he could stop hoping for me. My eyes easily find his and their different today. His eyes are not the usual ocean blue eyes that make you want to swim even when you know you can’t. It is more like the sky on the day we lost mom – warm, silent and about to burst. “I did those crimes.” I repeat and turns away again. Is that what disgust looks like with him? If that is, it surely pokes my heart sharply.
A loud knock startle me, forcing my eyes to look at the thick glass. I see his fist deeply entrench on the wall with few white paints cracking off. His hand is not bleeding but I see how red it is and the veins on his arm and neck are coming out like green snakes. I didn’t have any idea that he can be this mad. “I don’t want to see you in there. You don’t belong there. Just let me help Keesha.” He pleads and I see a tear forming around the corner of his eyes.
I blink as much as I can to suppress my own tears from falling. “You’re always there for me when I need you and you still are. But please Luke, stop giving me false hope. You and I both know that I will never leave this place anymore. My life is fated to rot here in Portchester. Stop making it hard for me by not letting me believe the impossible.” I touch the thick glass and pretend that I am holding him.
He walks near to the glass and stretches his hands. Our fingers, though separated by a thick glass, feels like somehow collide and inside me bursts, that all I want to do is break this glass so I can really feel him. “I don’t want to see you helpless. It breaks me.”
“Then, don’t come. You have a great life, don’t waste it by coming here.” I hate how I sound. I hate how I smartly know that I am no good for him. “I don’t need someone to feel guilty about anymore.”
No words come to both of us. Our hands are no longer on the thick glass but his eyes are still on mine and I don’t see a possible way to break it. It’s like he glued me on it and no matter how hard I pull I can’t disengage myself.
“I love you, Keesha.” He confesses.
My heart tightens. I can’t breathe.
I don’t know what to say or react. I don’t even know what to feel. All my emotions are suddenly rushing, colliding and about to explode. “I have to go.” I say as steady as I can and pushes the button to signal that our conversation is over.
The door slides open and just as before I step out he says something that makes me pause for a second. “Don’t go where I can’t follow you.”
I close my eyes and tears fall like raindrops on a lonely night. “You can’t follow me Sire Luke. You mustn’t follow me.”
My cell is a solitary confinement. There’s nothing I see except for the dusty bricks and my breaths are the only sound I hear. Since I am still a minor, they let me have my own cell and wait for me to turn eighteen before transferring me with other inmates. I have two years to ready myself from creepy people.
An explosion suddenly shakes my cell but not hard enough to break it. I hear alarms going on like crazy and the locks on my cell is doubled fearing I might escape somehow. I guess it’s the same for the other cells. The dust from my wall and ceiling drops like those on a glass hour. “What’s going on?” I ask the camera on my corner. There’s no response. Of course. Another explosion, this time it finally breaks the wall. All I see are smokes, fallen bricks, lying bodies, escaping prisoners and guards shooting, aiming no one in particular. They just fire on all who are running. I see this one prisoner running, crazily laughing and then, just after a second he got his head blown with a bullets. His body lies next to where I am standing as I watch them get killed and shoot at each other. Something alarm me even more. There’s a man in all black, with mask covering his face, walks casually towards me ignoring all the firing and commotion. He shoves his arms so lightly when someone tries to stop him. He shoots the one at his back as if he have seen it coming. He continues to walk with eyes focus on me, not blinking.
He’s coming for me and I am just standing still. I search for any way out but it’s too late he’s in front of me and he’s scary big. He smashes the butt of his gun at my neck and all I see next is darkness.
When I open my eyes, I am in a facility full of transparent water tanks, pipes bigger than me, engines that roars silently. I try to get up, but then my heart flutters but not with excitement. My arms and legs, even my waist and head are strap in a bedlike metal. I struggle to get the straps off my body but it is too tight. I want to scream help but I know no one would come. No one would kidnap someone and put them in a public place.
Footsteps are echoing getting louder and nearer. “Hello Keesha.” He greets with a welcoming smile just like what he gave during the opening ceremony.
