Part 8
Cheryl's Point of View
I was nervous about my meeting with Kimberley, I knew we were going to talk about the past and that scared me. I didn't know if I was ready to open the old wounds that had slowly began to heal, but I knew I had to... for Kimberley's sakes. If I wanted her back, then I had a lot of explaining to do. She deserved to know the truth... well most of it.
Standing with a bottle of wine in my hand, I rang the doorbell and waited for her to answer. I quickly patted my hair down, hoping that the wind hadn't done much damage to it. The door swung open, revealing a very tired, but gorgeous, looking Kimberley. “Hey!” She greeted as she pulled me in for a hug. “I'm glad you came.”
“Of course I came. I told you I would.” I think she sensed that I was a bit nervous, so instead of saying anything else, she grabbed my hand and led me into the living room.
She disappeared into the kitchen, but came back a few seconds later with two glasses for the wine. After pouring it into them, she handed me a glass and took a seat right next to me. I could smell her perfume radiating off her, she hadn't even changed that. She still wore the same perfume, the perfume she started to buy years ago when I told her I liked the smell of it.
“Kimberley, I still love you.” I gushed out before I could stop myself. I knew that I needed to tell her how I felt, and this was the best way to do it. To put all my cards on the table and just confess that I still love her.
She didn't look shocked or surprised, she just sat there with an expression I couldn't read on her face. She took another sip of her wine before saying anything to me. “I know you do. You only stopped texting me telling me that a week before you flew out over here.”
It was true, everyday since the day that I had left for America and broke Kimberley's heart, I had text her everyday telling her that I still loved her. At first, she would reply and then get angry that I would never text back, and eventually she stopped replying all together. By that time, we never spoke and she would only text me to tell me about the projects she and the other girls had. I could never go and see them doing any of them because my management team always had me working.
“I still have feelings for you, Cheryl. I don't know if it's love, but I do know it's a feeling that won't go away and it's driving me insane!” Her voice was shaking and I could tell she was trying her hardest not to cry. “I thought that I could get on with my life without you in it, but now that you're back I don't think I can. I miss you. I miss the hugs we shared. I miss the kisses. I miss your sarcasm. I miss the inside jokes we have. I miss us!”
I took the glass of wine out of her hand and placed both of mines and hers on the table. I then wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tightly. “I miss it all too, Kimberley. I really do.” I whispered into her ear. “I was stupid to throw it all away.”
“Well then, why did you?” I felt my neck turning wet, and I knew she was crying. I hated seeing her cry, but I hated it more because I knew it was my fault that she was.
Sighing, I ran one of my hands through her hair. This is what I missed the most, just being able to sit with the girl I loved and being able to hug her without anyone asking questions. “It's complicated. I don't even understand why. It's something I'd rather not talk about just now, not when we're both so emotional.”
“But Cheryl, I need to know. I have the right to! Ever since you left, I try to think about what I could have done to make you so angry at me.. and I don't know what I've done and it kills me inside!”
“Kimba, I swear to god if I knew it was going to upset you this much, I would never of left you. Like I said, it's complicated and a story for another time, but I promise you now it was nothing that you did.”
We elapsed into silence after that. It wasn't an awkward silence, it was a comfortable one. I knew Kimberley was thinking about something, so I left her to it, not wanting to disturb her. I just held her in my arms, hoping that I would never have to let go of her again. I loved her too much. I hearn my phone ring from my bag, it came out in a muffled sound, but I knew it was my management's ringtone. I didn't bother to answer it though, they could wait. This was more important. Anything that involved Kimberley was more important.
“I'm scared, Cheryl... really scared.” She finally spoke after minutes of silence. When I didn't say anything, she continued to explain herself. “I'm scared that if I get close to you again then you're gonna leave me. I don't think I can go through that again.”
“I'm not going to leave you Kimba, you mean too much to me. Besides, we have the tour coming up I'm sticking around.”
“What about after that though? Then what are you going to do? They'll make you go back to America and I won't see you again. I can't deal with that.. it was hard enough getting through it the first time. There were so many constant reminders about you and then I had to pretend to everyone that everything was fine because they never knew about us. It was so hard to not cry in front of everyone when they mentioned your name. If you leave again, I don't know what I'll do.”
It was my turn to cry now. I didn't know I had caused her so much pain. I didn't take into consideration that she would have to be reminded about me, that the other girls would ask her about me. I was able to leave the country and forget about it all, but she wasn't able to. I didn't think I had the power to make someone that upset, to ruin their life for a year. To make them not be able to trust me any more. Kimberley was meant to be my best friend, and the fact that she couldn't trust me any more hurt. It hurt a lot.
“I didn't even realise what you had to deal with. It was hard enough for me, and I got a fresh start. I'm so sorry, this is all my fault. I've caused you so much pain for the past year, I'm such a horrible person. I think I should leave.” I pulled away from Kimberley and stood up ready to leave, but she grabbed my arm and pulled me back down so I was sitting on top of her.
“You're not going anywhere. You can't leave me again.. not like this anyway. I need you Cheryl. You might think my life is better without you, but it's not. It's worse. I don't care about all the pain you've caused me, if I could have you back, then it's all worth it. I'd go through it again if I had to!”
“Really? You would go through it all again?”
“Yes, and I would have no regrets about it either.” I felt her place a gentle kiss on my neck, sending a warm feeling through my entire body.
“What are we going to do, Kimberley? Everything is such a mess! What's going to happen now?”
“I can't answer that, because I don't know what we're going to do or what's going to happen. A lot has happened over a year, and we've probably both changed a bit. I'm still scared that you're going to leave and I can't help that and the girls are still angry at you. We need to take a deep breath and take things slow, but right now, I think we should get some sleep.”
I felt my body moving with hers as she relaxed down into the couch. Removing one hand from my waist, she pulled the blanket that was spread across the couch off of it and draped it over the two of us. She replaced her hand on top of mine and squeezed it slightly. Relaxing, I closed my eyes and felt myself drifting off into sleep. I smiled to myself, knowing that I had Kimberley next to me, and because of this, it was the first time in over a year that I was going to be able to go to sleep without crying.
