Say The Words (Louis Tomlinson Fan Fic)

Chapter 9

There's kind of a lot of POV changes in this chapter. I tried to make it obvious. Just be looking :)

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*Addie's POV*

Thursday, August 8th, 2013

"We need to talk about something." He sighes.

What the f-. I absolutely hate when people do this to me. Louis Tomlinson. What? What? Don't beat around the bush with me here. SPILL.

"Okay, go ahead."

Oh my gosh he knows. He knows I'm a psycho maniac. I should just leave and move to Micronesia. That looks like a nice place to live. Shit, focus Addie, Louis is talking to you!

"I'm sorry, I missed that. What?" I say, embarrassed.

"Addie, I feel like something is up with you and you're keeping it in. I wish you'd tell me what it is that you're hiding from everyone." His eyes beg for truth. But I can't say it. I can't tell him. I start to feel really nervous. I think I start to shake a bit because Louis takes my hand in his and whispers, "You can trust me. Just tell me what it is. You don't have anything to fear. I'm here for you, babe."

I start to cry and shake my head. I tip my head down so he doesn't have to see how ugly I am crying. I can't tell him. Not now, at least. These things are deep and extremely personal. "I'm sorry, Louis. I-I'm just sorry. I can't tell you." He sighs in defeat. "Not now."

"When you're ready, I'll be here, okay?"

I nod and sniffle. "Oh look what I've done. I've ruined the night. I'm sorry, Lou. This was supposed to be a perfect night and it was supposed to be filled with happy memories, and now I've screwed them up! Goll, what the fuck is wrong with me! Why did-"

"Shh. No no." Louis hushes me and pulls me onto his lap, wrapping his arms around me and cradling me. "It's a good night. Don't hate on yourself." I sit there quietly for a minute until I finally respond with a simple nod and mumble an "okay".

I love the feeling of being held and cradled. It makes me feel wanted. Not needed, but wanted. Sometimes being needed isn't a good thing. We need air. We need air to breathe and survive. But if we didn't need it, would we want it? I wouldn't. Since I wouldn't need it, I wouldn't want it. But being wanted, well, that's different. If someone wants you, that means that they've made the decision in their head. They feel the passion in their inner soul. If you're wanted, it's that persons intentional action to want you. It's something that they are aware of and they have made the adjustment of wanting you in their life. In this case, being wanted by someone rules out being needed.

I let my thoughts linger and feel satisfied in this moment. I smile on the inside and slip off of Louis' lap. I stay close to him though as slouches and rests his feet on the table. I scoot down a little too and sit back, still next to him. He puts his arm around me and says in a low, hushed, almost-whisper tone, "C'mere, doll," and pulls me in closer and I snuggle up into his chest. I wrap my left arm around my body to rest on my waist, where his hand quickly finds mine and rests upon it. His left hand comes across his body and finds my right hand and pulls it up to his lips and he places a gentle kiss on my hand. As he lets go, I pull my hand back and reach back over to rest it on his chest. We lie there perfectly fit into each other's arms and watch the rest of the movie.

* 2 hours later *

I decide to sleep over at the boys' tonight on their couch since my roommates are gone. Jenny has a meeting with Vogue tomorrow to finalize what, for now, is confidential. Bradley is crashing at a co-workers place tonight and Mason is working too late. The reason I can't sleep there is because I forgot my key inside and I'm locked out. So embarrassing.