Say The Words (Louis Tomlinson Fan Fic)

Chapter 29

Check out the gif on the side! I really like it for this scene/chapter.

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*Addie's POV*

Sunday, November 17th, 2013

I don't know if this is something I should be doing. The chances of Louis and I being together again are near to none. And the chances of one, or both of us getting hurt again is a 50/50. It depends on whether or not we talk again after tonight.

And the chances of me getting hurt, 100%.

"Louis," I say as I grab a tissue from his night stand to help the bleeding on his wrist and take the blade out of his hand, "what happened to you?"

"I got lonely," he says sadly.

"Louis, you're in a group with four other boys, you have girls all over the world trying to talk to you, and you have a girlfriend. You're not alone," I say.

"Eleanor isn't my girlfriend."

"What?"

"It's a sham. She's being paid. It's all my fault too."

"How?"

He hesitates. "It hurt to leave you. You weren't in the best conditions. I cared for you so much; you were so important to me. Management knows about what you were struggling with, and since our fans will naturally hate or follow our girlfriends, I think that maybe they didn't want someone who had 'issues'", he hand quotes, "to be in the spotlight for girls to follow. It wouldn't 'be good for the band' I suppose."

He's right. I'm a terrible role model. I was. I think I've been getting better though. I'm not that bad anymore, right? "Oh," is all I say. The part where he told me that his relationship with Eleanor is a sham went through one ear and out the other. It's not necessarily my focus after seeing him all cut up. I'm pissed, that's for sure. My heart was breaking to see him with Eleanor, but I'll deal with that later.

I notice that the tissue is damp and look down to see that it's bled through. Louis is just staring at the floor. I take the tissue off of his cut. It doesn't look like it's bleeding as profusely as earlier, but I grab another tissue to stop the bleeding a little more before I bandage him up in a bit.

"What are you doing?" Louis asks.

"I'm stopping the bleeding," I respond.

"No, what are you still doing here?"

That's a good question. I'm not sure. Why am I here? Do I want him back? I could try to steal him away from Eleanor and the deal with management. But, what satisfaction would come from that? Do I want to yell at him and blame him for my pain? I could easily do that. It's easy to blame something on someone who did something to you before the pain happened. Louis left me, and I felt alone. I felt alone and started to get ill, mentally. Then, I ended up in rehab. It's so easy to blame it on him. But, I didn't have to feel alone. I didn't have to attempt to kill myself. I could've tried to be strong and push through the pain. But, I didn't want to. I don't know why, so I just didn't.

"I'm not entirely sure," I dab at his cut. It's stopped bleeding enough for me to bandage it. I'm comfortable enough with Louis to go into his bathroom and look for bandages. I find some gauze and tape. He doesn't have gauze wrap, but I find some pre wrap next to some bio-freeze. Most likely from playing soccer. It definitely smells like it. I walk out to him and he hasn't moved a muscle. I get over to the side of him and start to bandage him up. A band-aid would not do the job. "I guess I understand how it feels to be at a low and not have anyone who understands there to help. From what I know, none of the guys have dealt with this personally, right?"

"Not that I've heard," he says ever so quietly.

"I would just hope that it's convenient for you to have someone that knows what you're going through and understands here for you." He turns his head a little to look at my hands as I bandage his arm, then at me. I take my eyes off of his arm and look up at him. His eyes are red and puffy. I can see that the outer corner of his eyes are dry from crying. I send him a genuine half smile and continue bandaging his wrist. When I finish wrapping pre wrap around his wrist, I grab the tape and secure the pre wrap.

"Why are you using pre wrap? It smells like cleats," he says quietly.

"I know; I used to play soccer. You didn't have any gauze wrap."

"Oh, that's right, I'm all out. I meant to get more."

"Well, this is working for now. You're all bandaged up. In a few weeks, you'll be good as new," I encourage him even though we both know that the "good as new" reality is impossible.

"I don't want to go to sleep. I haven't slept for the past three nights. I'm exhausted and my eyes are so dry, but every time I try to go to bed, it's just bad."

"I know." I put my arm around his shoulders and reach my hand up to hold onto his head. He naturally leans on my shoulder. I kiss his forehead right next to his hairline. "I know," I say again.

I feel him suddenly exert a big amount of air. He coughs a little and I hear him start to cry. Before I can ask him why, he says, "Since when is someone supposed to endure this much pain? This is worse than death."

"Louis, I'm so sorry. No one is meant to endure this much pain. It was never supposed to be this way. It's nearly impossible to survive without friends. And, fortunately, you have a handful downstairs that are desperate to help you. They don't like to see you in so much pain. They are the people in your life right now to help you through this, and they're pretty incredible, so I wouldn't take them for granted."

"You're right. you're absolutely right. But, they can only help so much."

"What do you mean?" I ask curiously.

"I need you, Addie."

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I'm sorry it's sort of a short chapter. I'm telling myself that it's short, sweet, and to the point, or however that saying goes. I'm a little stumped. I'd love to have suggestions from my lovely readers! I'm literally so stumped, I can't even remember who all knows that Louis and Eleanor's relationship is a sham hahaa. So, please vote and comment and give me suggestions! Love you guys.