Say The Words (Louis Tomlinson Fan Fic)

Chapter 18

*2 months later*

*Addie's POV*

Friday, October 25th, 2013

Well, we are in the UK now. We moved to London a few weeks ago. After I got discharged from the hospital in New York, Jen flew back for a day to help me with moving all of my stuff; finally leaving America. It has been very numbing. My depression has worsened, so leaving and starting over in the UK hasn't hit me yet. I had a long time with my family before I left and they supplied me with plenty of things to help me get a good start here. The time change was tricky at first but all of us adjusted. Moving in and redecorating was really fun though. I'm the person who spontaneously rearranges the living room without giving any of the household a heads up. The apartment is just beautiful. Jen forgot to mention the amazing view we have. It's on the 9th floor of this complex. It also happened to be the last floor so atleast we don't have annoying people above us. Here's a mini tour:

Walk through the front door and to your right is our living room on a little bit of a platform. There's one set of steps with 3 steps. It has a fence/railing that matches the floor. It has black leather couches, glossy wood floors, a white rug, and black steel and glass table. We don't have a television yet because we ordered it about a week ago. Shipping takes a while. Then there's another couch; it is a dark red, suede, fluffy couch and I have dibs.

To the left of the front door is a "powder-room". Nothing super interesting except for the fact that it's shiny and new.

Around the corner from that is a hallway with 3 rooms, each with their own bathrooms. In the opposite corner of the living room, actually on that whole side opposite of the front door is the kitchen and dining area. It has big spacious windows and a little balcony resting on the outside between the two. It's big enough for a second dining area and a hot tub. The kitchen has a light grey tiled wall, stainless steel appliances, and black cabinets and cupboards. The countertops are granite and we have a little island with two barstools. On the side that's back to back with the dining room there is an opening above the counters so there's not a wall between the two.

And lastly, there's another hallway on the right side between the living room and dining room, across from the other hallway. Down there is another bedroom and, what we call, the light room.

The light room is a room that basically has no walls. It does, but they are completely covered in enormous windows. You hardly see the walls, it's basically just windows. It also doubles as the art room or office. It's a space to just relax and get away from the chaos of the world. We have a piano and a easel in there just for fun use. The piano is actually from back home. It's a beautiful Steinway & Sons Model D Concert Grand piano. It's been passed down through our family for a long time. Since, the 1920s actually. Do not ask me how it got up here. Do not ask me how it was sent here. I do not know. I do not want to know. I will never know. It's a beautiful piano, in amazing condition, and perfectly tuned. In our light room, there's a desk, bookshelf, computer, and what not. Theres another couch and loveseat and it has the same glossy wood floor as the living room.

Across the hall from the light room is my bedroom, isolated and away from everyone else. Just how I like it. Why?

Ask me why I like to be alone and isolated. Ask me why I continue to live a lifeless life. Ask me why I despise myself so much that I would have physically, mentally, and emotionally crippled myself into going into treatment for my eating disorder. Ask me why I continue to cut open my skin, hit myself, and scream at myself for being the way I am. Ask me why I would prefer to be alone when being alone will literally kill my existence. Ask me why I'm comfortable being alone.

I'll tell you why. It's because I have everything I need. I have everything I could ask for. My parents' generously give me money and I can buy whatever I desire. I had everything handed to me. That's why I'm ruined, why I'm nothing. It's why I do what I do.