Remember (On Hold)

Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

I wanted to cry and I didn't even know why. I guess its because I need to let it all out. The frustration, fear, and sadness ,my loss of memory has brought me. I wanted to remember so badly! because it felt like half of me was gone and I would never get it back.

Listing to Crystal talk about her childhood had a bad effect on me. I was thinking that I might never be able to remember my mom or dad or what my life was like before all this happened.

I was taken out of my thoughts when the car in front of me suddenly stopped. I pressed the brakes and I came so close to hitting the car. I cursed under my breath and took a deep breath in. I felt like a heart attack was threatening to come and hit me by surprise.

I was already nervous about my appointment with the therapist. What if I remembered something or what if I couldn't remember anything. So many questions were filling my head.

The car in front of me started driving forward and I followed.

In about 5 minutes I parked in front of the building I was addressed to go to. I shut the engine off by pulling the key out. I opened the car door and stepped out. I grabbed my bag and shut the door behind me. I walked to the sidewalk and turned around to point the keys at the car to lock it. I was satisfied when I heard the car 'beep' and I turned on my heels to walk to the front door of the building.

I opened the door and stepped into a cool breeze from the air conditioner. There were another set of doors and I opened them to find a lady to the left side behind a window on the phone. I slowly walked to her and she hung up the phone to look at me. She had green eyes and her hair was fully grey and cut short with curls around her head.

"Can I help you sweetheart?" she said typing away on her computer.

"Um,, ya , I'm here for an appointment at 1" I said switching my bag from my left arm to my right.

"OK whats your name?" she asked looking at me.

"Teresa, Teresa Evens"

" O, yes, your appointment is with Ms. Morrison on the 3rd floor ,room # 14" she said pointing to an elevator.

"Ok thank you very much" I said starting to walk towards the elevator.

" No problem, sweetie" I heard her say behind me.

I pressed the arrow that pointed up. As I waited for the door to open I noticed there were some stairs next to the elevators that probably lead up stairs. The door opened causing me to look away from the stairs and walk into the elevator. I pressed the # 3 and the doors automatically closed. I looked into the mirror the elevator had and fixed up my hair by tighten my ponytail. The elevator made a beeping sound before the doors opened and I walked out. There was a long hallway to my left and another to my right. I decided to turn right first seeing that rooms 10 and 11 were down that hallway. I walked a few feet before finding a the door #14 and above it was the name "Ms.Morrison". I gently knocked on the door and took a small step back.

I heard someone ruffling through some papers. Then some foot steps and the door opened. Behind the door was a beautiful woman that looked like she was in her 30's with dirty blond hair up in a small bun. Her hair was curly and looked messy but yet like if it were perfect. She wasn't fat nor was she super skinny. She wore some black slacks with a red long sleeved blouse. She smiled which showed her perfectly straight and white teeth. Her eyes were chocolate brown and she looked at me with gently and caring eyes.

"Hi , you must be Teresa" she said moving to the side so I could walk in. I nodded but I didn't walk in. "Well don't just stand there, come on in." she said taking one more step back. I walked in and shot her a small smile. The room was pretty big with a couch against the wall. Across from it were two chairs. One was electric but the other was a normal wood one .In the middle of the couch and chairs was a small table. There was a window that took up almost the whole wall that was to the couches right. To the left of the couch was a desk with some books and papers stacked up on top of each other and a lap top that was open with a blank screen.

"Please sit down" Ms.Morrison said.

I sat down on the couch and turned to Ms.Morrison who sat down in her spinning chair that was in front of her desk. She pulled out a clip board and turned the chair so she was facing me.

"I'm Izidora and I would much rather have you call me by my name instead of Ms. Morison, that just makes me feel old." she said smiling. I nodded my head in agreement and turned back to her click board.

" Lets see, ok so today I would just like to try a type of hypnosis. I'm going to put you into a sleep were you can here me and like that we can try finding the memories that you lost. "

" Ok, will it work? " I asked

" Well I'm not sure, it doesn't always work but we won't lose anything with trying. "

I took a deep breath in." Ok I'm ready".

She smiled. " Ok, great, please sit down in the the chair" she said pointing to the electric chair.

I did as she said and once I was sitting down she pressed some buttons and the chair went down slowly until I was completely lying down.

"Ok, now watch this clock and try to relax the best that you can. Don't think about anything, put your mind in blank. "

She was swinging the clock back and forth and I felt my body fall asleep and I closed my eyes and entered a world of black

I could hear voices but I didn't know how. It was like if I was in a dream, but everything looked so real. There was loud music blasting throughout the house and people were dancing. Some were kissing and others were getting drunk.

Suddenly I feel a great pain inside of me and I'm crying. I'm crying so much because it hurts. It feels like someone had a knife and they just kept stabbing and stabbing me over and over again.

I couldn't take it anymore. I forced myself to wake up. I saw Izidora trying to calm me down because I was crying like in the dream. I didn't want to be here anymore so I stood up and grabbed my bag. I ran out of the room and I could hear Izidora yelling after me but I couldn't stop. I pressed the button to the elevator but it wouldn't open. I kept pressing it until I remembered about the stairs. I ran to the door and pushed it open. I ran down all the steps while I tried wiping some of the tears but they just kept coming. The pain wouldn't go away and I didn't know why. I wasn't crying. I was sobbing my heart out because that was what was hurting. I lost my balance on one of the steps and fell but I grabbed hold of the railing. I looked down when I regained my balance but everything was blurred by my tears I could see blood falling down my knee but I kept going. I reached the bottom and opened the door. The Secretary lady saw me and stoop up immediately but I just turned towards the door and pushed myself through them. When I was out I took a turn to my right and ran. I didn't know where I was going nor did I care . I just wanted to get rid of this pain I felt inside.

I turned a corner and stopped. I fell down against the wall and rapped my arms around my legs. I buried my face in my knees and just cried. I cried and cried until I felt my eyes couldn't let out another tear.