Depressed, Hurt, & Lost

1: Dream Taken Away

 Waking up was the worst feeling to me. And sleeping was no better all I had was nightmares about that night...

 "Life just keeps getting better. Doesn't it honey?" Jonnie said taking his eyes off the road.

 "Yes, babe it does, so what do you think we're having? I think it's a girl," I rubbed my small swollen belly. I was only 4 weeks along, so we wouldn't know the sex until the 5th month if baby corporates. I'm hoping for a girl so I can dress her up in cute little outfits.

 "Either one is good to me as long as I still have my beautiful wife," our hands intertwined. We were sitting at a red light just enjoying the silence. Screeching of tires were heard and the last thing I saw was a bright light.

 "Ma'am can you hear my voice, if you can raise your thumb," I was instructed. I raised my thumb.

 "Good now I want you to stay calm we're on our way to the hospital," the paramedic told me.

 That's all I can remember.

 I tried to wake myself but my eyes stayed shut. A scenario played out in front of me with a family having a good time. The father/husband turned around I internally gasped. That was my husband he just looked a couple years older. Curious as to who the woman was I slowly walked around the family. No one seemed to notice me it was like I were invisible. The woman had burnette hair kind of like myself. I finally saw her face it was myself but I was only a little older. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I'm seeing what my family will look like in the future.

 "Mommy mommy mommy! Look at what we found for baby Josie!" two excited little kids came running.

 "Awww Abby and Nico they're beautiful," Future me said to the smiling kids.

 Abby, Nico, and Josie is what we wanted to name our kids. I glanced at the two beautiful kids noticing they look just alike. I touched my stomach smiling at the fact that I'll be having twins. They started to walk off and I followed, but was blinded by a bright light once again. Everything was black now the only sound there was was the sound of cries. I slowly opened my eyes to see what was going on. I hissed from the pain I felt run through my body.

 I opened my eyes seeing that I was in the hospital and immediately remember the accident Jonnie and I were in. My mom and sisters were all crying and comforting each other as I was confused.

 "Mom, what's going on? Why are you guys crying?" I asked in a unattractive way due to my throat being dry.

 "Oh my baby," was all she said as she enveloped me in a hug. She ordered my sister to go get the doctor.

 "Hello Mrs. Winchester , how are you feeling?" the doctor asked closing the door.

 "I'm good Doctor..."

 "Reynolds," he said while checking the machine.

 "Dr. Reynolds, is my husband okay?" I asked trying to sit up but failed.

 "Mrs. Winchester I'm sorry, but your husband did nit survive the car accident," he informed me. My whole body felt numb it felt like my whole world just stopped spinning. At this point I felt like I had one thing to live for.

 "Is my baby okay?" I nervously asked but something in my gut told me other wise.

 "No ma'am I'm sorry. Due to the impact you had a miscarriage. I'll leave you with your family to grieve," Dr. Reynolds walked out.

 "No no no this can't be happening... our family was just starting we were happy. This is a nightmare I'll wake up from. It has to be," trying to accept that I lost my husband and baby in the same day is breaking me to the ground. The pain is unbearable.

 "Baby it's okay-" my mom tried to sooth me.

 "I just want to be alone. Can you guys leave please?" I held back the tears.

 "Averee-," my sister tried to interject.

 "Just go," everyone left.

 I broke down the second the door closed.

 "This isn't true this isn't true it's not it's just a dream," I repeatedly said to myself while crying.

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