Depressed, Hurt, & Lost

13: Back To Square One

 I woke up darkness taking over my room. My eyes were heavy from all the crying. I looked at the clock ready 9:34 p.m. I sat in the bed for 20 minutes before guilt and depression took over. I grabbed my phone googling bars nearby. There was one 30 minutes away. I got out of the bed and made my way to the shower turning on the hot water. The bathroom started to steam as I stepped in, welcoming the scalding water on my numbed skin. I felt like I had no emotions once again I felt mute. I stepped out the shower grabbing my towel to cover myself. 

 As I opened the door steam traveled into my dark room. I turned my bedside lamp on, it illuminating the room. I grabbed my burgundy spaghetti strap body con dress out the closet putting it on. I paired it with my black 9 inch heels. I did my make- up to cover my puffy eyes. I left left my short hair hair down still wet. I grabbed my purse and keys and seeing it's 10:20. I turned my bedside lamp off and left my room. As I  walked downstairs I heard fumbling in the kitchen. I thought I could make it to the door without alerting Ramond but my heels were too loud.

 "Hey, where are you going?" Ramond stepped into the living room.

 I just ignored him and walked to my car, peeling out the drive way. The drive wasn't as long as I thought it would have been.  I pulled into Frankie's Bar parking lot. I got out locking my doors. As I walked inside I felt my mind ease as I saw all the alcohol waiting for me. I took a seat at the bar getting comfortable. Tonight is going to be a long night.

 "What can I get ya hon?" the bartender asked serving other people.

 "Two shots of Tequila," I said. I downed both shots requesting two more.

  Four shots later and I'm feeling the effects. A guy comes to sit next to me.

 "I haven't seen you around here," he said grinning. 

 "It's my firrst time coming herre," I said slurring my r's.

 "Judy, two shots of Rum," he told the bartender. 

 "Coming right up," she poured the brown liquor into the two shot glasses sliding them our way.

 "So what's your name?" he downed my his shot holding his glass up.

 "Aver-ree," I managed to say. I downed my shot. 

 "Well Averee I'm Fabian," he introduced himself.

 Multiple shots and 1 game of darts later it was 3 a.m. I looked at my phone seeing 5 texts from Ramond and 3 missed calls from Adrian. I somehow called Uber. 15 minutes later my phone pinged telling me my Uber was outside. I stumbled outside to the car. I had a little trouble getting the door opened but I managed.

 "Where to?" the driver asked.

 "1726 Zamples Ln," I said before passing out.

 I was awoken by a voice.

 "Ma'am we're here," he said. 

 I gave him the money and got out. My head was pounding. I took off my heels and made my way to the door. I fumbled with my keys to unlock the door for a few seconds. Finally getting it opened i stepped inside the dark house. As I closed the door the lamp in the living room turned on.

 "Gosh Averee I've been texting you," Ramond rushed to his feet.

 I dropped my heels and keys and stumbled to the stairs. Ramond grabbed my arm to steady me but I snatched out of his grip. I climbed the rest of the stairs on my own. I had finally made it to the top feeling dizzy. I used the wall to guide me to my room. I had made it into my room locking the door and passed out on the bed. That night I didn't dream anything , nothing but darkness.

 A loud sound awoken me. My head was pounding uncontrollably. Flashbacks of last night played in my head. I sat up regretting it as my vision blurred. The noise got louder,  I got out my bed to find the source. It was coming from my purse. I took out my phone seeing it was my alarm.... great, work. My phone was on 15% I put it on the charger. Having to at work at 9:30 it was 8:45. I took a hot shower enjoying the hot beads of eater hitting my skin. The familiar numbness returned making all thoughts disappear. After being in the shower for 20 minutes I got out. Remembering I left my car at the bar I called up an Uber. Still feeling like shit I puled my hair in a bun and pulled on my blazer and slacks, they were a little wrinkled but i didn't care. My phone pinged letting me know my Uber was outside. I grabbed my phone and flats and hurried out my room. I knocked something seeing it was a glass of water. I jogged downstairs grabbing my keys and slamming the door. I told the guy the address. By the time I got to work I felt like I was going to puke, and that's exactly what I did. I apologized to the driver and paid him double for the clean up. I stepped out soon regretting it. The sun was harsh this morning magnifying my headache. I took the elevator up to my floor. The motion just made me more dizzy.

 I stepped off the elevator seeing everyone buzz around. As I walked to my cubical several people greeted me as I said nothing. I got to my desk looking at my reflection in my mini mirror. Red puffy eyes, my eyes emotionless as I feel.

 "Averee, can I see you in my office?" Grant said in a stern voice.

 I got up and followed him. He opened his door for me. I took a sear in front of his desk. The look on his face told me I was in trouble. 

 "Did you remember we had the Thompson's trail today?" he asked annoyed.

 "No I didn't," I said and nor did I care.

 "Excuse me?" he furrowed his brows.

 Crap I said that out loud. 

 "Nothing," I mumbled.

 "Not only do you come in here late but to top it off you come in late reeking of alcohol Averee. What is wrong with you?" he looked concerned.

 "Frankly that's none of your business," I snapped. 

 "Excuse me? It's none of my business? The hell it is when you come into my building hungover out the ass!" he yelled.

 "What I do on my own time is my damn business! And if it weren't for your girlfriend we wouldn't be having this conversation! If it were any other employee you would let them be!" I was now screaming my head off.

 "I have had enough of the both of ya'll shit," I said walking to the door.

 "Averee if you walk out the door you'll be kicked off the case and suspended for a week," he said threatening me.

 "Like I give a shit," I walked out seeing everyone watching me. I grabbed my things and left. 

 I called an Uber to the bar. The rest of my day started off with Tequila and Rum.

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Enjoy 

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