drown × calum hood [complete]

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Chapter One: What doesn't kill you makes you wish you were dead

Dedicated to ashton-almighty for being very supportive and stuff :-))

By the way, this book might have some self-harming in it and I'll give trigger warnings, okay? I hope you enjoy this first useless excuse of a chapter.

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×Calum×

Everything and anything could kill him. He didn't have a reason to live except for his older sister Mali-Koa, his mum and dad and his three best friends: Luke, Michael and Ashton.

He wanted to die. He needed to. He felt like it would be something to make the world a better place.

As much as he wanted to do it though, he couldn't. His mum had disposed of all his blades. He couldn't even shave... not that he needed to, anyways. His legs and face were super-smooth.

Sometimes he wondered what it would be like to have beard stubble or a moustache or hairy legs.

Because Michael had very hairy legs. Like, gorilla hairy. He wasn't being mean though, he was being honest.

He supposed he could drown himself in the bathtub... That seemed like a good idea. Nobody would know.

He got up from his bed and walked to the bathroom, knocking on the door to see if anyone was in there. No answer.

He pushed it open and walked inside, ridding himself of his clothes until he was in only his boxers.

He waited for the bath to fill up with warm water and looked at himself in the mirror.

"You pathetic excuse of a human being," he mumbled to himself. He looked down at his scarred arms and legs.

"How many times have you tried to kill yourself?"

"A lot."

"And has it ever worked?"

"No."

"So why are you trying again?"

He breathed out in shame and stood in the water, which was now almost overflowing.

He turned off the tap and sat down, pulling his knees to his chest. He looked at his tattoos. A bird for Mali. His mum and dad's initials on his hands. He had his family with him wherever he went.

He sat in the bath until the water turned cold and stepped out, drying himself off. He pulled out the plug and starting humming something to himself.

He didn't know what it was until he sang it.

"Don't let me drown."

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I'm sorry if this chapter scared you because this book is going to be sad... unlike all my other books except for maybe Consequences...

Song: Drown by Bring Me The Horizon (lyrics)

Go have a look at my other books :-))

Question: Why do you think Calum is trying to kill himself?

ily all

-mahina xx