drown × calum hood [complete]

× t h i r t e e n ×

Chapter Thirteen: And bring me home again

he'd make a cute nerd tbfh

Dedicated to: permanentpityparty

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×Calum×

Calum had been waiting for about twenty minutes before the pizza finally arrived.

He heard three knocks on the door and waited a while so he didn't sound too... needy or excited that they had sent her.

He had been waiting forever until he finally almost ran to the door and opened it.

"Calum? Why are you ordering pizza in the middle of the night?"

I wanted to see you.

"Coz I'm hungry," he said simply, plucking a twenty from the top of the fridge before handing it to her, taking the pizza.

"Keep the change."

"Why do you have sc- oh."

He frowned before realizing she had meant his cuts. He hadn't been cutting for about three days and felt quite proud of himself for that.

"Yeah, I kinda cut... and stuff."

"Oh, well... I have to go."

"Uh... okay."

She gave him an apologetic smile before turning around and leaving in silence. He had just embarrassed himself in front of her - again.

He let out a silent sob, trying to find one of Mali's blades from her razor.

Just this once, and you'll never do it again.

He couldn't find any.

"No," he whispered. He needed to find something. He couldn't help when he cut - whenever he did something wrong or when he felt it was his fault he just needed to cut so he felt better.

It was stupid, Calum knew. But he couldn't help it.

He grinned like a madman when he found one of her razors left in the downstairs shower. Duct-taping his mouth so he made no sound, he dragged the razor across his wrist, his screams muffled by the tape. He repeated the action three times on each arm.

Tears started rolling down his cheeks and he washed the blade, tucking it into the gap between the sink and the cupboard.

Calum's cheeks were in red blotches. He carefully pulled off the duct tape before picking up the pizza box, his arms still running with blood.

And after that, he did something he hadn't done in a while: he cried himself to sleep.

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holy sht this was dramatic

thanks holley for the ideas :-)))

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-conchobar xx