Alaska

Chapter Twenty-Two

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

The next few days passed in a haze of emotion.  Lexi had decided that she would have been better off at home with someone close by her at a constant, so she invited Ashton to join her on their Easter trip back to Pennsylvania and he was more than happy to come along.

Morgan Term classes were finished for Spring Break, and Lexi had a lot of free time on her hands, something that she didn't like, especially whilst grieving a baby that Ariel had lost.  She spent a lot of time with both of her best friends and  encouraged Ariel to get on with her life, though it was easier said than done.

***

Nineteen weeks...

On a warm Thursday afternoon, as Angel and Lexi glided along the floors of Ohio Local Mall, shopping for last minute things to take to Pennsylvania, they halted outside a Baby Bee store.  Lexi bit her lip, her heart dropping.  Every association with something that was remotely baby-like, didn't make her think of her own baby, but of Ariel's deceased one.  The shock of the sudden loss was still wearing off, even for her.

"Wanna go inside and have a look around?  You're nearly five months.  We have to start looking at cribs," Angel said, softly.

Lexi gulped, turning away from the store, her hands on her protruding belly.

"I can't," she mumbled, quietly.

Angel frowned, shifting her weight onto another leg and pursing her lips.  "Lex.  You're having a baby and you're starting to ignore that.  Take some time to think about the blessing inside your belly.  Your baby isn't dead.  He or she is very much alive and you're gonna find out the gender in two days."

Lexi's face tensed and she chewed at her nails, thoughtfully.

"I just can't help but feel bad," she said.  "Ariel is such a nice person and her son was taken away from her.  I feel un-deserving."

Angel hesitated, a sour expression on her face and she leaned in, soothingly grabbing Lexi's arms and peering into her crystal blue eyes.

"Lexi, no one is more deserving than you.  You are a brilliant girl and you are a nice person, just like Ariel, but nothing is going to happen to you.  It was just a sad thing that no one could have stopped from happening and nothing can change that," she said, hardly.

Lexi squeezed her eyes shut, trying hard to absorb her sister's words and believe them.  Slowly, she nodded and the two of them stepped into the flamboyant nursery-like shop.

There were cribs of all materials and sizes standing in an inviting line across the shop windows.  Cribs with metal bars and mahogany railing.  Cribs with puffy blue mattresses and cribs with fluffy pink cushioning.  Lexi smirked, imagining her own baby wiggling gently inside one of them.  She cradled her belly, admiring a certain polished white crib, with wooden bars and a spongy yellow mattress.

"These must be so expensive," she sighed, turning to her sister who was interested in a high-tech fold-up crib at the end of the line.

"You'll manage," Angel said, softly.  "You know how much Mom and Dad have been funding your clothes and doctor visits, as well as Ryan's."

Lexi nodded, curtly.  She hated the thought of her parent's paying for her baby.  It made her seem weak and powerless and emphasized the fact that she really did have no money, and only her foul parent's did.

Something in her peripheral vision suddenly caught her eye.  She turned, finding herself facing a rack of baby onesies.  She stared at two baby pink and baby blue ones that were hanging at the far top.  The blue one had SONwritten across it in bold white letters.  The pink one, had DAUGHTER scrawled neatly.