Finding a Way to You (Book One of The Finding Series, going through revision)

Chapter 25

Chapter 25

~Becca~

A bright light awakens me and I sit up and look around. Where am I? Then it hits me… Everything rushes in my mind all at once, making me dizzy. Everything from just a few hours ago replays, like a tape stuck on repeat.

“Your adopted.” I hear in my head again; as it replays, over and over. I look around and realize I’m still in Dad’s office… With the light coming from outside, it must be around seven or eight, am. It’s pretty cold outside for December. And sitting here replaying everything that happened last night; makes me understand what changed when Jamie Matthews came in my life. My life before Jamie wasn’t perfect, but I was fine. I was used to the abuse every day. Used to the torture, the abandonment. If I wouldn’t have met Jamie, Daniel probably wouldn’t have nabbed me. I would have died that day when I slit my wrists and everyone would be happy.

‘I wouldn’t be happy.’ A soft voice calms my spirits. I stop. “Who’s there?”

Silence.

Am I losing my mind?

‘Why do you doubt me Child?’

“Who said that?!” I shout.

My father runs in the room, his slightly plump stomach bouncing as he runs. “Becca, what is it?” His frazzled state sends my anger through the roof, remembering what I learned just hours ago. Adopted? How? I have seen my baby pictures. Pictures of my mother pregnant with me, how?

“I don’t want to speak to you dad. Or should I even call you that?”

He just sighs. He makes his way over to me and sits beside me. “Look sweetheart. I’m not really the person who you need to talk to.” I furrow my brows. “And who would that be, ‘Dad’?” I say putting the emphasis on dad.  He shakes his head. The furrow in his brow makes me wonder what is going on in that head of his.

“You need to talk to your mom.” He says it so nonchalantly, it’s creepy.

“Why should I. She isn’t really my mom, so what difference does it make?”

He exhales deeply, his chest heaving. “Becca, I don’t want to talk about this.”

I stand, absolutely infuriated. “But I do. And we are talking about this now, dad. Now.”

All these years I have been living a lie. For seventeen years it’s been a lie. A lie! No wonder God hates me, my life is a lie.

My father sighs. “Becca, I have done some things I am not proud of. I won’t tell you how you are adopted, your mother gets to tell you that one, but I will tell you about your sister.”

Sister?  What sister? I have only two sisters I know of. What could he possibly be talking about?

“Dad? What do you mean sister?” He rubs the bridge of his nose, slightly pinching it. “Honey, when you were about two or three, I made some bad choices. No, I made a lot of bad choices.” He stands, and sits at the desk in front of me.

“I had an affair with another woman, and she got pregnant. You have a younger sister and her name is Rain. She is sixteen. When your mom found out, she went a little crazy. Your mom doesn’t know I know this, but we made love one night before she found out about the affair.

“Well she was pregnant. But her being so mad at me, she killed the baby. Almost killed herself.

We should have told you this sooner, but with everything that has happened over the past few months, with Daniel kidnapping you and your mom acting up again, now is the time to tell you.”

I sit there with my jaw agape. Affair? I thought my parents were in love back then? Even now my father brings my mother flowers every now and then, but to find this out? This makes the hatred I have for the supposed woman who gave birth to me even worse. She killed my sibling, just because she was angry with my father. Nothing stops the blood curdling scream from rising out of my chest, and no one stops me from screaming either.

My phone starts to ring, which cuts off all my thoughts.

A picture of the most handsome boy appears on the screen. Jamie. I swipe the screen and answer. “Hey Jamie.”

He waits a few minutes before he answers, and that’s when I figure out something is wrong.

“Jamie? What’s wrong?” A sob breaks from his voice. I mouth to my dad that I am going outside, and make my way to the front of my dad’s office.

“Jamie, honey. What is it? Is it your mom?” A full fledge cry comes and I know I have my answer.

He finds his voice, and its barely above a whisper. “Yeah. My mom died. But I know she will be okay. Can we meet? We need to talk.” I wonder what he could possibly want to talk about.

“Yeah. We can meet. I am at my dad’s office.” I give him the address and go back inside to wait for Jamie.

My father walks up to me and rests his hand on my shoulder. I shrug him off of me; I don’t want someone who isn’t my father, showing me affection.

“Why did you do that Becca? I overheard your conversation a little. Jamie’s mom die?” I nod but keep my distance.

“Why are you doing this? You can lean on me.”

That does it for me. “NO! No dad. Or should I call you that? You told me almost 6 hours ago, that I am adopted and now you want to act like a father for the first time in my life? No thanks.”

Defeated he sits down at his desk and sighs. “Look honey, this isn’t easy. Your mom is just going to have to tell you I can’t.”

Before I can say any words, the door is opens, and in walks an exhausted looking Jamie. I run up to him, throwing my arms around his neck. “Oh baby I am so sorry. It’s going to be fine, Jamie.” He looks at me. Hatred in his eyes. Almost like he is angry with me? Why is he looking at me like this?

My father walks up and extends his hand. “Hi son. You must be Jamie. I am Bill, Becca’s father. Sorry for your loss.” Jamie doesn’t speak but nods his head and grabs my arms and takes me out to the truck before I can say anything.

“Jamie! What are you doing? Ow you are hurting me!” His death hold on my arm loosens a bit. We get in the car and the tension is so thick you can cut it with a butter knife.

“Are you hungry?” Jamie asks, finally breaking the silence.

I just stare out the window. “Jamie? What was that back there? The look you gave me?”

His face turns that shade of red that is scary.

“Look Becca. I found some things out that we need to talk about. Things that have to do with my brother.”

I jerk my head back to his face. “What are you talking about? Jamie tell me.”

His hands grip the steering wheel so hard they turn white.

“Did you know your mom was the main suspect in my brother’s death?”