Finding a Way to You (Book One of The Finding Series, going through revision)

Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Jamie

Pain... All I feel is pain. And dark... Darkness everywhere. All I know is that I was shot. Anything that happened after that is lost… I can hear everyone around me… Dr.’s, nurses… Their voices are urgent and hushed at the same time.

“He should be awake by now. It has been over three weeks.” A worried voice, that I place as my father’s, cracks a bit as he speaks.

“I know Dr. Matthews. But we are doing everything we can.” Another voice spoke with such sadness. “The amount of blood he lost is what is causing the coma. It could be months before he comes to.”

I wish as this moment I could open my eyes and tell him how sorry I am for everything. And that I love him. Becca. I need to tell Becca everything. About Mattie and how I blame myself… I need to see her. I hope she is okay.

A soft knock comes, and a small voice follows. “Hey, Mr. Matthews. How is he?” I know that voice, but I can’t place it.

My father huffs a noticeable sigh, and the grip he has on my hand, grows tighter. “No change.” He swallows. “They said that he might not wake for months. If anything happens to him, I will blame myself.” He sounds like he is holding back tears.

“I don’t know if he told you, but the night he went to meet you we had an argument. Ever since his mom got diagnosed again, I have been drinking. And let’s just say I am not very kind when I am not sober.”

The girl chuckles… “Mr. Matthews if you remember my mom is the same. So I understand.”

An awkward silence falls between the two, and I wonder if they have both left, until she speaks again. “I know you say this is your fault, but it’s really mine.” She chokes back a cry. “If I would have never dated Daniel, Jamie wouldn’t be like this… In reality, it’s my fault.”

“Becca, look at me.” I hear my father. Becca? He is talking to Becca? She’s alright!

“Look this isn’t your fault or mine, it’s Daniel’s and I hope the police find him. But the good Lord knows what He is doing. We just need to be patient.”

“I can’t think like that anymore. I can’t afford it either.” She sighs. “If that were really true—that God knows what He is doing, I would have never been kidnapped, and Jamie would have never been shot. If God was really there, he would have saved me the moment I was taken. He would have allowed that bullet

 not to hit Jamie either.” I could hear the tears in her voice. My mind was commanding every other part of my body to move, to do something so I could convince her otherwise. How could she think that God isn’t here? How could she think that He abandoned her? I can’t wrap my mind around it.

“Honey, I know what you mean, and how you feel.” I hear the chair creak, and guess that my dad is about to leave the room. “But that isn’t true any of it. Well I need to get back down to the ER. Let me know if anything changes. His mom will probably be by later. She wants to meet you.” They both say farewell and I can hear Becca walking closer to my bed.

Her cold hand meets mine, and I try with every bone in me, to squeeze her hand.

“Hello, my love. I miss you, and hope you wake up soon… No. I need you too…” She grips my hand tighter. “I’m sorry, Jamie. For everything. How can God do this to us? I hate myself for ever believing everything could be okay now. But I was wrong. Really wrong… God can’t possibly care about me. If he did, you wouldn’t be here… Your beautiful blue eyes would be open, and they would be looking at mine.” She sniffs, and then I feel it… Cold, wet tear drops—falling onto my hand.