Finding a Way to You (Book One of The Finding Series, going through revision)

Chapter 29

Chapter 29

~Jamie POV~

After Rachel and I finish our soup, my dad comes in and updates us on Becca. His jaw line is set and his eyes are tired. His white Dr. coat has specks of blood on them.

“Well her vitals are good, but we are just waiting on her to wake up.” He sighs and rests a hand on my shoulder. “In the ambulance on the way here; she did flat-line twice. But by the grace of God, they got her back.”

All breath leaves my body. It feels like the wind has been knocked out of me. I guess that is how it feels to lose someone you love; or almost lose.

It’s my fault. My fault she is in this state right now. My fault for everything.

My dad leaves after assuring me everything will be fine; he is being pretty strong for a man who just lost his wife days ago. Rachel’s phone begins to ring, and she excuses herself for a minute. I don’t hesitate to go by Becca’s side. I grab her bandaged hand in mine. “Oh love. I am so sorry.” I say, tears falling freely. “If I would have stopped you from leaving the car, you wouldn’t be hurt; wouldn’t be scarred.” I lean down and kiss her forehead. “I need you to wake up for me. I don’t want to be without you anymore. I love you. You can’t leave me.”

A throat clears from behind me. I turn to see Rachel with a smile on her face, and tears in her eyes.

“You are something Jamie. And it’s not your fault. My aunt Tami is nuts.” She beckons me to sit by her on the two-seater couch.

“Look, she doesn’t know I know this. I don’t even know if she does.” She takes a breath and shuts her eyes for a second.  “Becca’s real name isn’t Rebeka. It’s Annabel.” I look at her confused.

“What do you mean, Rachel? Her name isn’t Becca?” my mind is reeling. Spinning out of control. I feel clammy, and sweaty.

“It’s a long story. A very long one.  My uncle had an affair with my aunt Maggie. My mom’s sister. My aunt Tami’s sister.” She pushes a hair behind her ear. “But it isn’t my place to tell you.” She looks at her watch. “I got to go, I have to meet Sam.” A smile rests behind her eyes. Before she turns to leave, I say. “Rachel?”

She turns to me. “Yeah, Jamie.” I walk up and give her a hug. “You know, you and Sam will be fine. You know that right? The guy will come to his senses and realizes he loves you. He is just in a weird place.” Her smile falls a bit. Wavering.

“I know. Just don’t want to wait for forever you know?” I smile, because I do know.

She grins again and leaves. After Rachel leaves; I find myself walking to the chapel in the hospital.

“God?” I ask. “I know I have been wrong lately, and I know I haven’t fallen from you; but can you save my Annabel; my Becca. Lord whatever name you have planned for her. God please protect my baby.” The tears don’t stop. Peace courses through my veins and I feel arms wrap around me; but there is no one standing in here with me; I am alone. I sob harder. I feel light as a feather. Soon I am not standing. I am flat on my back in the Chapel. Overwhelmed in God’s presence.

‘Son. I love you. Don’t blame yourself for anything Satan has caused. He is the problem; not you. Your heart is being healed. Every hole; every scar. The grief you feel from your mother’s death; gone. You will have a new joy in me. The arms you felt around you; were mine and your mother’s. You will do many things for me, with Annabel by your side. She is the one I have prepared you for. I will you use to minister to many people who have been hurt.

‘You are greatly loved.’

I don’t move. I lay in His Presence; overwhelmed by what I just experienced. I have been slain in the spirit before; but nothing like this. I sit up and rest my head in my hands. I sob. Tears of Joy. And every pent up emotion is gone. They leave me as I cry. I weep. I weep with joy, and with the assurance that God loves me. I scramble off the floor and go back to Becca’s room, with pep in my step.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The beautiful girl lying in the bed breaks my heart. Her face pale. So pale. I walk over to the bed and kneel beside her. My finger traces over her features. A smile breaks out on my face. God told me we are meant to be together. The joy spreads over me. I laugh. I chuckle. I guffaw. I laugh and I can’t; won’t stop. I laugh until my sides hurt. A moan stops my laughing short. I wipe the tears from my eyes; to see Becca slowly opening her eyes. I run over to her. I grab her and, but she surprises me by throwing her arms around me. “Oh Jamie!” She cries. Tears flowing down both of our faces. She grabs my face in her hands. “You are always saving me, I don’t deserve you.” She whispers. I shake my head. “No, Becca. I don’t deserve you.”

She smiles but then it quickly disappears. “Jamie, we have to talk. I found out some things about myself. And some of it has to do with you.” She says holding her palm to my cheek.

I gulp. “Jamie before I was born, I guess my parents loved each other. Well my dad is my dad, but Tami; I can’t even call her my mother. I am too disgusted by her. Well my mother; my birth mother, she was Tami and Aunt Kay’s sister. She loved my dad. I don’t know her name but she must have loved me. Well anyways, Tami wasn’t happy. She killed her Jamie. She killed my mom!” She sobs out burying her face in my neck. “I have so much hatred for her. And it’s not all… Jamie… She killed Mattie.” She says softly, eyes not leaving mine. I try to be angry. I try really hard to show hatred but I can’t. I laugh again. And the look on Becca’s face isn’t amusing.

“Why are you laughing? How can you think this is funny?” I wrap my hand around hers, twining mu fingers with hers. “I am laughing because God has given me joy. So much joy. I can’t contain it.” I smile widely. “Jamie. I heard God again. He told me I have to forgive before He can forgive me.” She takes my other hand and squeezes it. “I forgive you. I know it’s silly but I need to let you know.” I can’t help it, so I lean in and press my lips to hers; missing the feeling of them on mine. I smile.

“Jamie, don’t call me Becca anymore.” She says after we break apart.

“Why not?” I ask, but already know what she is going to say.

“Well Tami named me that. My birth mother named me Annabel. I don’t want to be reminded of her. I don’t want to be afraid anymore. I am tired of running. Can you pray for me?”

A tear falls and I swipe it away. “Yes, love. I will Annabel.” I grab both of her hands, and I begin to pray. Praying for restoration of her heart and mind. And most of all that she will learn to forgive the woman she called mom.

After we pray, I lean in close. "Hey Annabel, they got her... Tami is in jail. You don't have to be afraid. Daniel he is dead too." I pull her close and brush my lips to hers. "No more fear." And we kiss.