Suicide Hotline ▶ Calum Hood [complete]

eighteen ☎︎ suicide hotline

BIANCA LOOK

winnie's eyes fluttered open, a smile on her face as she remembered what happened the night before. she was tangled in between the sheets, and she sighed in content.

but she realised that calum wasn't near her, so she frowned. there was a note on the bedside table, so winifred picked it up and read it.

i had to go.. i'm sorry. i love you. - cal xx

is what it read. winnie sighed, but decided to go over to his house just to see if he was okay and all.

winnie got ready in a flash, skipping down her stairs two at a time. she found pancakes on a plate, covered in glad wrap. "you're such a dork, cal."

there was a note beside the pancakes, that basically said that he was sorry that he couldn't be here anymore, he wanted to though. winnie thought nothing of it, but ate them anyway and headed out.

she made it to cal's house and knocked on the door several times, but no answer. "calum!" she yelled with a grin.

winnie decided to just go in and wait for him to come back, considering the door was unlocked.

she ran up to his room, opening the door. she found notes scattered on the floor and she furrowed her eyebrows, but she didn't read them.

winnie fell back on his bed, a book jumping up out of the covers as she did. she screamed, as it scared her, but looked at it anyway.

Calum Hood's Diary

she flipped it open to the first page, only to see 'DO NOT OPEN THIS (unless you find me)'

winnie was confused. she left it on the bed anyway, finding an urge to pee. she walked into the bathroom, and her jaw dropped.

she was speechless. tears began to swell in her eyes.

there was calum, in the shower, blood staining the floor and his arm. the water was running.

she ran to the shower and swung the door open, "calum!" she checked for a pulse, but there was nothing. not even the slightest beat. she yelled, slapping calum's face, "calum! wake up!"

she turned off the water, reaching for a towel. she pulled calum out, leaning her back against the bath as she pulled him into her lap.

winnie ripped out her phone, dialling 911 faster than she's ever done anything before.

"911. what's your emergency?"

"my boyfriend has just committed suicide, there's blood everywhere, i don't know what to do. please help me," she cried, running her hands through calum's hair.

"okay, just breathe miss. we will track you from the location you are now and the paramedics will be on their way."

"please hurry." she whimpered, throwing her phone somewhere through the door.

she held calum in her arms, crying and whispering 'i love you' and 'wake up' repeatedly, until the paramedics arrived and pulled him away from her.

-

winnie was sat in calum's bed, looking around the room.

"he didn't deserve this." she said, shaking her head.

she had called michael and he said he would book the first flight here, because he was in darwin.

she suddenly remembered the diary, and she was reluctant, but she did open it.

on the first page was a letter to michael, and the next few ten or so pages was to family.

she found her letter, and she began to read it. tears fell from her eyes as she read it.

Dear Winifred Thomas,

I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm going to do this, but I am. I'm not worth it. I don't deserve someone like you either. You're so beautiful and amazing and whoever you end up marrying is one of the luckiest human beings I know.

You were always there for me; and I hope I was always there for you. You always made me happy - and I hope I did the same. I hope I love you as much as Augustus loved Hazel Grace. I hope you felt loved. I hope you felt happy. Because I know I did.

I'm sorry that we didn't get to do all the things you wanted to do. I'm sorry that I won't be around to see your first-second love, or to see you in a white dress at an altar, or to see you carrying a small human, or to see you hold that small human, or to even see you as you laid peacefully.

   I hope another guy comes and takes you on dates, and holds you close at night, and makes stupid little jokes and never makes you cry. I hope he takes you sky diving and to kid's movies. I hope he makes you happy. And loves you at least almost as much as I do.

  And I know that my name will fade into oblivion, but I can still hope that my love for you never will. You were my first time, my first love and my first happiness. You gave me something that no one else could. I'm forever thankful for you.

   I want to have a funeral. I want my parents, my sister, you and Michael there. I want you to read something. Because I know that I can hear you, even if we're a fucking dimension apart.

   I am in love with you, Win. And don't ever doubt that. Not now, not tomorrow and not in twenty years.

   Thank you, Winifred.

- Cal xx

winifred stood in shock. she never expected it.

but she loved calum, and she respected him. so she began to plan the funeral.

-

LITERALLY TWO CHAPTERS LEFT IM SORRY OK WOW IM GONNA GO WRITE MORE BC FUCK