Suicide Hotline ▶ Calum Hood [complete]

nineteen ☎︎ suicide hotline

winnie sat in her car, taking deep breaths as she reached the funeral place. she dreaded today; and the days after.

she had written a speech - well many speeches, but never seemed to find the right one. she just decided that she would wing it, because the one speech she had actually liked was not one to be told. it was for calum. and she would tell him personally.

winnie pulled up to a parking spot, composing herself. she was not excited.

she got out of her car and headed inside, seeing what looked like calum's family, michael and another guy that she didn't know.

"hey, mike." winnie greeted, falling into an embrace with the freshly dyed michael.

"hi." he replied, hugging her back tightly. they needed eachother.

"this, is luke. he was a friend of calum and i's." michael introduced the blonde guy, and luke stepped forward with a broken smile.

"hey, i'm winnie." she introduced herself, before shaking his hand.

"here, let's go see calum's mum. she's probably experiencing hell." said luke, winnie and michael trailing behind him with lowered heads.

winnie hated this. she did not want to be here. she did not want calum to be dead. she had so many questions, like: why did he do it? or wasn't be happy?

"joy, mali, david. this is winnie, calum's girlfriend." luke said, making calum's family look up at me.

"even prettier in person!" exclaimed his mum, which she thought was joy. possibly mali. but winifred didn't know.

"that she is," smiled his sister. mali.

-

"i'd like to invite special friend, who was loved and adored by calum himself, winifred thomas." said the funeral guy.

winnie sighed, standing to her feet and walking to the podium.

"we all knew calum as the bright, happy, care free spirit. he could always make someone's day. he just had that vibe," winnie smiled to herself.

"he would always ask for a second- even third- plate of food, he would always beg to do something. he would help ladies cross the street or take you to a music store just because. he was just..." winnie laughed then broke into a cry, "he was amazing. and i loved him, dearly."

"luckily for me, i was able to experience every side of calum. at his darkest moments, when he felt like he wanted to give up. but i knew he always had hope in becoming happy. that's all i ever did want for him. happiness."

"without a calum hood in this world, everything loses colour. but he's forever here, in our hearts." winnie said, her throat burning as she tried not to cry.

she finished and headed back to her seat; sobbing quietly as michael held her tightly.

"why did you do this calum? why?" she cried into michael's chest, not caring about what anyone else was thinking. she was sad. she lost her one happiness.

"shh, winnie. it's alright." michael said, and winnie wasn't sure if he was trying to reassure himself more than he was trying to reassure winifred.

-

after everyone was gone, she sat at calum's grave. the tombstone read 'here lies calum thomas hood. a loved son, brother, lover and friend.'

"hi. i miss you, already." winnie chuckled. "i fucking hate crying. it makes me feel weak. that's a feeling i've been trying to avoid."

"remember when we were talking about oblivion?" winnie asked rhetorically, "yeah, i do too. great answer there, cal." she laughed to herself.

"well now, you are going to fade into oblivion. and it fucking sucks that i couldn't save you. but i will still be aware of your love for me, and i hope you stay aware of my love for you." she said, playing with the small flowers in the grass.

"you took your life calum. and you took my heart with you. i'm breaking at every place in my chest because i can't-" she said, finding a loss for words. "i can't see you, or touch you, or kiss you or just feel you in the other side of my bed. i'll miss it."

"i gotta go, cal. i love you." winnie farewelled and stood to her feet, leaving behind calum and all her memories.

-

lots of -'s in this chapter i apologise fr ok anyway this is the second last chapter hope u cried bc i did wow

remember to vote bc i get like 0 votes lol jk but pls