*2 weeks later.*
Harry has been in a coma. I have been going to visit him every day, and he hasn't shown any change since when he was first admitted. He has been consuming my every thought since i got the news he was in here. Even though he doesn't feel the same about me, my feelings for him won't change. And despite the fact that he will never show any interest in me, the reason i fell for him was because he accepted me, flaws and all. You don't find people like that out there anymore. The world has gone to shit, and so has everyones sense of confidence since society has always been so critical. I have tried to stay strong but i lost my cool last night and broke my own record. I promised my brother i wouldn't, but i can't take this hurt. I don't plan on telling anyone unless they find out. Which won't happen.
..
I left about an hour ago to go see Harry. I stayed with Jared last night because if my mom ever found out about me going to see the somewhat stranger that crawled through my window every Saturday and got drunk with me, i'm sure she wouldn't be too happy. It has now been 4 weeks since we have communicated with each other. I know she will give in, I sure as hell won't though.
I arrive at the hospital and decide to FaceTime Michael since I had to bail today. He answers on the 3rd ring, and i smile at his derpy facial expression.
"Hey cliff." I say and he smiles and says hey. He sure has helped me get through this.
"How is he?" He asks and i look away.
"Not so good. He's in a coma." I frown and then flip the camera and show Michael.
"Shit, i'm sorry." He says and i smile at his choice of words but reply with an "it's okay. "
"So are you guys a thing?"
"I don't know, probably not."
"Why?"
"He doesn't date."
"That is pure bullshit. Convince him, he will give in."
"I don't want to push it though Mike." I say and then throw my hair into a messy bun.
"Just be subtle. Trust me he likes you."
"How do you know?"
"He never stopped talking about you for a week."
"Really?" I feel a tear coming, but i wipe it away.
"Yep. No lie."
"Well that kind of helps."
"I knew it would you brat. Now thank me."
"Thank you Michael." I roll my eyes and we hang up and i sit next to Harry taking his hand in mine, and looking at his now pale face.
" Harry, i know you can't hear me, but it's worth a shot. I know you don't date or anything but hear me out. I miss you so much, I miss you coming through my window and having great laughs with me. I didn't want you to know i was coming to visit you at first, but i needed to talk to you. I don't know what you did to me but you made me feel so intoxicated i didn't see the reality of the matter. I'm sorry if i came off as desperate at first, but now i know. I think about you every day. And i don't normally tell people but i feel like i can trust you. I did something remotely bad. Back when i was 13, i had a big ass fight with my -- Sharon, and i went into my room and well, i cut myself. I would do it everyday until it got so bad she found out and made me stop. I made a promise to Jared to never do it again, but i did. Last night i did. And i feel so helpless. I need you to come back. I know you don't want to see me but i need you to know how much i love you. Please."
By time i finish, I am a crying mess. I just spilled everything. It feels good to get it all off of my chest, but i need him to wake up. Maybe, just maybe he will change his mind like Michael said. It felt different this time.
I look down and see that i'm still holding his hand. I wipe my tears with my free hand and turn on music. I put one headphone in my ear and one in his. The song begins to play.
"For your eyes only, i show you my heart. For when your lonely or forget who you are, i'm missing half of me when we're apart, and now you know me for your eyes only."
I feel a slight squeeze on my hand and the tears keep coming. He knows I'm here. I smile and look at him, in his sleep and it makes me hope he will wake up now, but thats unlikely.
Every now and then, his eyes flutter but nothing different than before.
My world took a huge ass turn, and some of it was on my side intead of against me this time. I will do anything to fight for Harry if he'll let me in. I am counting on michaels advice and hoping -- no praying that this will work.
Maybe. Maybe not. Only time will tell and i will wait as long as it takes.
_____________________________
HAIII GUYSSS
Sorry this was kind of a deep one but sorry not sorry.
Okay so if anyone reads this, thank you!! I work so hard and i feel like i suck.
The songs for this chapter are
Shirtsleeves- Ed Sheeran
Bloodstream- Ed sheeran
Don't- Ed Sheeran
Photograph- Ed sheeran
All in it- Justin Bieber
History- One Direction
Sorry i was Ed Sheeran af today lmao
But dats all and i will see you tomorrow.
All the loveeeee
- Raina xx
