What can i say? Im a fucked up person. She smirked and downed the pills. Michael.
Her words kind of threw me back a tiny bit, but i know her sarcasm was evident. I guess a small part of us just naturally has a fucked up theme to it as you will, but we all enjoy the madness whether we admit it or not. Sanity is an escape from the real world, and when all hell breaks loose, the blinders come off and you see the world for who it really was behind the mask. And sometimes people are the same. "Anna, i think i should go." I smile and look at the time, 6:30. She took her pills and now the silence is kind of awkward since the effect the pills have on her will soon kick in and she will fall asleep. "Okay. Are you coming back tomorrow?" She asks and i nod my head and smile into one last kiss with her before silently walking out the room door. I shut the door behind me and press my back against the wall and smile like an idiot. This is actually happening. I hand the nurse lady my visitors pass and zip up my deadpool hoodie, its fucking freezing in here for an aussie boy. I see someone else headed in my direction, so i focus my vision. Fucking harry... again.. "Harry mate, what did i tell you?" I frown and keep my calm, the last thing i want now is drama with him of all people. Fucker is a little bitch when he doesnt get his way. "Look michael, i fucked up and i came back to say sorry." He surprises me and i nod my head dumbfounded and press the button causing the elevator doors to split open. I step inside and pull out my phone and go on snapchat. I take a wierd selfie and send it to Anna, and caption it "10 minutes into netflix and chill and he gives you this look"
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She sends me a selfie back and says "lmao." And i get into the car and drive back to the hotel. That didnt take as long as i expected it to but im not complaining.
Harry.
Anger. Sadness. Regret. Repeat.
Notice something? No happiness. At all. It was ripped out of me by someone who actually deserved it, and they seem to enjoy it a little more than i used to, but now i feel lost. Heres how it goes. I wake up and brush my teeth and eat breakfast. Her seat is empty and i remember that i fucked it all up. I get angry and smash my plate, watching it obliterate onto the ceramic tile floor. Than sadness overcomes my senses. I realize that its my fault. I realize that i cannot control my temper and it makes people leave, without any plans whatsoever to come back. And i have to take full responsibility because... well i did it on my own. I get sad that shes not sitting on her stool across from me, drinking prange juice with 2 waffles and half of a lemon. Every morning she would sit there with a happy face, eating her breakfast. And now comes regret. The biggest one. I regret my reaction to what she told me. She told me something she had been keeping from me for over a year and had the strength and courage to tell me? And i had the fucking nerve to get mad? Now look where that got you, alone. And now she has Michael, someone who deserves her time and affection, something in which i do not deserve. And most likely never will deserve again. _______________________________ HAIII GUYSSS Sorry for taking so long this past few weeks. GOT WIFI BACK SJDJDJ 5 months and 7 days Songs are... Blue Neighbourhood:Troye Sivan Me myself & I : G- Easy Thats all i got All the loveeeee - Raina xx
