4 days.
He hasn't contacted me or tried to reach out to me since he left my window the last time. My head is pounding and I just want to lay here forever. I check my phone and There's one new message. My eyes light up with hope as to if it might be Harry, but i let out a sigh when it's just Sam wanting to know if she can come over. I reply with a simple yes, and turn on some music. I put Five Seconds Of Summer on shuffle and i smile to myself as Permanent Vacation plays. I am going to see them live one day, I plan on it.
I check my phone and Sam says okay and there's one more message. It's from Michael.
Michael: Hey there.
Me: Hi
Michael: What's wrong?
Me: Too much shit to deal with.
Michael: Watch that potty mouth bitch
Me: lmao okay then
Michael: So I was wondering...
Michael: Want to hang out tomorrow?
Me: Sure. What time?
Michael: Probably 4 or 5. Sound cool?
Me: Sure. See you tomorrow
Me: Love your hair btw
Michael: Lol thanks. See you soon.
I gotta admit, Michael will make this much easier. I have never felt heartbreak before if this even counts. He made me feel like a joke for trying so hard. I felt so intoxicated i guess i was too blind to see the reality of it. I hear a knock on my window and my heart sinks at the fact that it's just Sam outside and not the one i necessarily want out there. It was just 4 days ago that we were laughing and having fun and now look, I swooped in with my feelings and ruined it. If i would've kept my mouth shut maybe it could have come later on and not by surprise. I guess that this is what i get.
I let Sam in and she plops down onto my bed.
"So what's wrong?"
"I have been keeping something from you." I blurt out and realize that it was the truth, I hadn't told her yet.
"Well spill!"
"It's over though. I think forever."
"What's over?"
"did it even start...?" I ask silently to myself, and it hits me hard to realize.
"What's over Anna?"
"Annabelle Rae if you don't answer me..." Sam says and smacks my arm. I come back to reality and get ready to answer her question
"I met someone at a bar. And we used to hang out every Saturday. We kissed and drank like crazy and he came out and said He doesn't date and left my window." I say and wipe my eyes. I honestly don't know why i'm getting upset it's just that i feel like i have lost a small part of me.
"Anna Really?" She glares at me before finishing. "You can't let people get to you. If you give it time maybe he'll come back." she says and pulls me into a hug. I wish i wouldn't complain so much about my life, but it sucks so i have a reason to complain.
..
I wake up and he has consumed my thoughts whenever he gets the chance. I try to push past it but each time has become harder and harder. I just remember everything- the memories we had en if it was only a month or so. i hate to admit this but each day gets easier with time. I just have to turn on some music, and drown out reality for a few hours. I go grab some clean clothes and i head to the bathroom for a shower. I forget to lock the door after i realize i'm in the shower but i don't mind. I stay in the shower. I turn the water off and wrap a towel around my body and head back to my room with my clothes. I get dressed and there's a knock on my door. I assume that it was Sharon and ignore it. I grab my journal and write a little before I go to sleep.
Dear journal.
he's gone with my sanity. Each day gets better than the last but I need to find a good enough distraction. Michael is coming over tomorrow and we are going to hang out for a bit. It has now been 2 weeks since I have last talked to Sharon, We both refuse any kind of communication. I feel a slight sympathy for her, but nothing I would risk talking to her for. Sam and Blake broke up last night and she called me crying. I facetimed him and snapped and i made a promise to Sam that the next time i saw him i would dump ice down his shirt. Damn where's my fuckboy repellant. I am thinking of going back to school now that I have nothing better to do, I mean I am 16 so I should get an education. Well i'm tired as hell.
-Annabelle Rae xx
...
I turn my music on and get underneath the covers. I get comfortable and drift of into a deep sleep.
"Anna wake up." I hear someone say but I can't quite put my finger on who it is.
I look up and see Jared standing over me and his eyes are bloodshot.
"What's wrong?"
"It's Harry."
Oh my god.
"What happened?"
"He got in a car crash."
"Is he okay??"
"We dont know. Hurry up and get ready." He says and shuts my door so i can get dressed. I put on some jeans and a hoodie that Harry left here one day and get out the door.
Why does he creep back in to my life as soon as i feel somewhat secure? Now i'm back at square one and worried as fuck.
We get inside and wait for the doctors to call us back.
"For Styles?" A male nurse calls out and my body shoots out of the seat and he leads us to his room. We open the door and he is laying down, covered in machines. I feel a tear slide down my face as i see him in this condition. I now figured out what's wrong. I love him, and there's no way past it this time.
My feelings for him are strong and i can't fight them.
"Oh my god." I cover my mouth with my hands and lose any calm that i had left. I cry uncontrollably. What caused the accident? Was it the other persons fault?
"Hey Jar?" I ask and he looks up at me. "If he doesn't wake up while i come to visit, don't tell him I was here. Please." I beg and he nods before giving me a hug. It's nice to have him back even though technically he never left.
__________________
Well hello fellow readers.
Fun fact i wrote half of this during map testing at school lmfao
Okay the songs for this chapter are...
Sounds good feels good.
Prisoner: the weekend / Lana del ray
Home: one direction
If i could fly: one direction
Okay i think dats it.
All the loveeeee
- Raina xx
