No Words (Conor Maynard Fan Fiction)

Chapter 14 - Lost Control

I jolted awake at the sound of the nurses coming into Conor's room to check up on him. It had been two weeks since the accident and I had been here almost everyday, when Ben was able to give me a lift. Ben and Liz have been very supportive these past weeks. I haven't been eating or sleeping much and Ben drove me here and back when he could. They gave me my space but they were there for me and comforted me too. I felt bad considering I hadn't been talking to either of them much since the accident. Every time they look at me, they give me that sad sorrowful look and I can't take it. It was the same look people gave me when my parents died which is one reason why I was glad to get out of Dublin. But then Conor came along...I told him everything and all he did was comfort me and he never gave me that look.

I brought my hand to my cheek to wipe the tear that had fallen. I wanted Conor to wake up so that I could throw my arms around him and tell him how sorry I was for ever questioning him and what we have. To tell him I'm sorry for just leaving him at the club when he needed me even if he didn't know it at the time. There was a hole in my stomach from guilt. The same guilt I felt when my parents died. I was still blaming myself for their death, everyday was a reminder that they died and I lived. Now Conor. If I hadn't gotten involved with Conor then this would never have happened, if I hadn't questioned him and our relationship then this would never have happened. If I hadn't left him there at the club even though I knew that he didn't mean what he said that night, then this would never have happened. 

"Are you okay?" I heard a soft, female voice ask me. I saw the tear drops that had fallen onto Conor's bed and I took the tissue that the middle-aged woman was holding out for me. "I'm okay. Just thinking about a few things. Thank you" I said to her and she smiled kindly at me before quickly checking Conor's chart and leaving the room. 

I looked up at the TV and leaned over to get the control so that I could turn it louder. I should have guessed that Conor's accident wouldn't stay a secret forever and now it was all over the news. There was traffic camera that had recorded the whole scene and now they were replaying it over and over. The news lady was saying that maybe Conor had a drinking problem and he should get help before anyone else besides him gets hurt. Ben came in and turned the TV off before I threw something at it out of anger. Conor is perfectly fine and he doesn't have a stupid drinking problem. It was one time and it was an accident. He's going to wake up and everything will be fine. 

"He's going to wake up and everything will be fine" Ben said to me, almost as if he read my thoughts. He was almost like my dad in that way. My dad always knew what I was thinking, he could tell when I was down and he would pick me back up. Ben is doing the same. Or trying atleast but unless Conor wakes up I won't be able to pick myself up. I won't be able to cope if I were to lose him the same way I lost my parents. "Katie, I have to go deal with a few things at work, is it okay if I leave you here for a little while?" 

"Yeah that's fi..." "Actually, my family and I would like to spend some alone time with our son. Nothing personal dear it's just that well you're not exactly family" I was cut off by Conor's mother as she walked into the hospital room. She was being bitter and it's not like I didn't know I wasn't part of the family. But I won't say anything because they are Conor's family and it's just as hard for them to see him like this. 

"No problem. Will you let me know if anything changes?" I asked her kindly. "Ofcourse dear" She said sweetly this time and my uncle lead me out of the room. 

I walked out of the hospital with my head down. The scene of Conor's accident replaying in my mind. You couldn't really see Conor in the car and what he was doing but it was clear he just lost control. There was a small dog on the road but if Conor had just slowed down a little  and moved over to the side he wouldn't have hit it anyway. But he had been drinking a lot and maybe he got a shock when he saw it. Maybe he wasn't looking at the road and then he looked up to see it. None of us will know exactly what happened until he wakes up. All I saw in the bad quality video was the car swerving, turning and then flipping over. The nothing. Just smoke and you could finally see Conor's almost lifeless body lying there. 

I wiped my eyes and continued walking. I knew Ben was just trying to help and I could tell he was upset that I was so upset but there's nothing he can do really. 

"I still have to go handle those things at work, it won't take very long so you don't mind coming with do you?" He asked as he started the car and reversed out of the hospital parking lot. 

"No I don't mind" I smiled at him, for reassurance and he smiled back. 

I wish Conor had never lost control. I wish he had never had so much to drink. I wish he would just wake up. 

He will wake up....He will wake up....He will wake up. I kept telling myself that in the hope that it would actually work. Conor is strong and he will fight. Fight to come back to me I hope and his family ofcourse. 

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Sorry I took so long to update! Had a bit of a writer's block and then just didn't have the time. I'l try update a lot sooner from now on :D

The sadness won't go on for long haha I can't handle it! Lol.

Thank you for reading :D xx