Real or not real? (everlark)

31

These characters as well as their original story belong completely to Suzanne Collins, the greatest author of all time.
So, lots of requests to update so you guys can figure out what happened to Katniss, is she alive, etc.
I'm personally enjoying this, making you guys wait. It lets me know that you care. I also think that you guys don't read this part in black, which is extremely annoying. So, I'm gonna drop a big fat hint in here on what's going to happen next, and if you read the hint and figure it out, please just comment- "OMG"
Katniss only has one kid. And she needs to have two before she dies.
Also, this is back in Katniss's pov.
Enjoy!

Comas are weird. At least, I think that's what I'm in.
I can hear them, all of their voices, talking around me, but I can't reach them. And the moments that I do hear them are short and rare, so I hold on to every word for as long as I can. Then I get sucked back into what feels like sleep.
Sometimes, I'll feel flashes of pain, and I will feel my heart stutter and it becomes hard to breath. I think that these are the moments that I'm starting to slip away.
But I fight to stay. I fight to keep myself here, on earth, and to not drift away into a heavenly place. My family needs me. And I need them.
And what if I were to die, and Jen was to grow up with no mother? Or Peeta to live with no wife?
I can't let that happen, which I have already decided. A memory of Haymitch flashes into my mind then. "So, it's you and a syringe against the Capitol, huh?"
I knew if I was living, I would smile at his sarcasm.
Then I think back to all of the memories that I've had just in the past year. Peeta coming to stay with me. Effie and Haymitch engaged. Me getting pregnant, and me having my little baby girl.
Other memories flash into my mind as well, memories that I try to push away, which proves to be difficult.
Memories of killing Cato and the other tributes, of Peeta lunging at my throat in 13 and at home. Memories strong enough to make me cry. If I wasn't in this coma.
Being in a coma, and having no company except the voices you hear and yourself gives you a lot of time to think. And honestly, I think that if I wanted to die and leave Jen and Peeta alone, I would have by now. I think that the only reason I'm alive is that I'm fighting to stay that way. And if I chose to let go, to let myself give in, then I could die right now.
This gives me a dilemma.
There are so many beautiful reasons to live. My baby. My fiance. My mom. Hunting. Life itself is amazing, now that the Games have been stomped out.
But...
Dying would mean seeing my father again. It has been so long since I'd heard his voice, felt him hug me and whisper that everything was alright. Felt him brush away the tears that spilled down my cheeks. Heard him sing to me and my family, or have him come pick me up from school.
So long since I've heard him say he loves me.
And I could hear it again, and not have to feel pain any longer, if I just let go right now.
Dying would also let me see my sister again. Prim and I could laugh and play, talk deep into the night about what was troubling us like we used to. I could see Rue and make her a flower crown out of daisies. I could tell Cato and clove that I'm sorry.
I could fix everything.
But that would mean a life with no Peeta. Or Jen.
My mother would cry, and probably never be the same again. Jen would grow up with one parent for a lot of her life, just like I did.
But I could stop fighting.
One fearful thought keeps me from letting go and letting myself die. If I do, there's no chance of me coming back. I'd just die.
I can slowly feel my willpower lacking. I need to make my decision soon, or death will choose for me. No one can hold on forever.
This thought scares me. I need to live. As much as I'd love to see my dead family and friends again, I can't die.
But then, for a frightening moment, I feel my heart stop and then start again. I'm having a hard time breathing. I feel like I'm being pulled underwater, and all I want is to break the surface...
I struggle against the force that threatens to kill me. I can't die now, my choice has been made.
I take a shaky breath, and for a moment, I hear voices.
"... we need life support now! We're losing her! She's going to die, go get them!"
I feel a hand on my face. Then the voices fade out.
When they come back, Peeta is talking. "Katniss, stay with us please. Don't even stay for me, stay for Jen. I love you."
Then his warm hand is yanked from my face. I continue to struggle against death.
"Get the paddles out and ready! We're going to need to shock her."
Shock me?
"She's dying, we might be to late-"
"Paddles, now!"
"3...2...1... CLEAR!"
Then I feel the electricity course through my body, almost as strong as death, which is still pulling on me.
"Shock her again!"
I feel my willpower crumble.
This is Katniss Everdeen.
And I've stopped fighting.