Real or not real? (everlark)

33

These characters as well as their original story belong completely to Suzanne Collins the greatest author of all time. OK guys I think I'm only going to do a few more chapters until the sequel.... but I'm not sure. I'd like to stick with thisone, it's been getting lots of views and I want it to keep growing, lol. I may stick with it for a bit.
I'd I'd like I'd like to dedicate this chapter to one of my friends, @katie144 who doesn't read this story in particular, but should at least read this chapter since it's dedicated to her.😂
But seriously, guys, @katie144 is awesome and you should totally follow her!👌
🚫WARNING: I CRIED WILL WRITING THIS🚫

I knew it was going to be bad before I even picked up the paper. But I read it anyways.

Dear Miss Everdeen,

We regret to inform you that your mother has passed away. She died at 5:30 am Tuesday, March 5th, from a heart attack.
Please contact the District hospital, 1-800-NOT-SICK to go over any adjustments that you may have regarding you mother's burial.
Best of wishes,
District 4 Board of Health

I wipe the tear that spills down my cheek.
"Mom..." I whisper softly, and then start to sob on the couch.
Gone. She's gone. My mom will never hold me again when I cry, never give keep that stern look...
I wasted it. Ruined it. For years I shoved her away and was horrible to her, not trusting her. And now my mom was dead.
It's hard to believe that my mother died, she was only in her fifties. But a heart attack could kill anyone.
I sob quietly into a pillow, and at some point Buttercup leaps up next to me, nestling against me as I cry, purring softly.
I stroke his mud yellow fur.
"Why her, Buttercup? Or better yet, why me? Why do I always lose everyone?"
I break down again. I look up at the clock, my eyes red and puffy. I need to call Peeta. And so I do.
I pace the ground in front of the table where I found the letter, still crying as I wait for him to answer.
Then I notice a small piece of paper sitting on the table next to the opened letter. It must've fallen out. I set down the phone and pick it up, reading what it says.

My beautiful Katniss,
Don't cry, darling, please. Smile. This is a new life for me,a new adventure.
I took a hint from Prim and her letters, but I wrote only this one. and I only have one purpose for writing this-
I love you.
Love from,
Mom

My lower lip trembles as I read it, struggling to hold in all of thetears. But eventually I break, letting them all spill loose.
I wish I would've died, just let myself go while I had the chance. Now mom and Prim can be with dad, and I have to be all alone. They get to say I love you to each other.
It's incredible that those three words can make such a big impact.
And yet they do.
The paper crinkles in my hand, tiny lines coming from my fingers. I can't possibly live like this. No mom, no dad,no sister. I'd rather die.
I'd rather die.
I make up my mind. I grab as many books as I can, and a few writing utensils with a movie, and trudge upstairs.
But not before grabbing my bedroom key.
I get into the bedroom and draw the curtains, shutting and locking the windows. I turn on a lamp, and open my private bathroom door, letting the small night light from inside stream out.
Then I lock the bedroom door from the inside. And when I head back to the bathroom in my room, I flush the key down the toilet.
I look at the pills in the cabinet, debating on whether or not to just die now. But I decide against it. Not now.
I take in the razors sitting perched on the small ledges on my shower. I could bleed to death right now too...
But that, well... I honestly don't think I'm ever going to be able to do that.
Maybe I'll starve.
My parents and my sister didn't have an easy way out. They had to go through some sort of pain. I will too. I'll die and finally get to be with them, and I'll go through pain to do it.
I'm going to die.
I can deal with hunger. I know what it feels like.
I'm going to stay locked up in here, refusing food, never coming out.
I'll apologize to Peeta in the future, and my daughter.
But I don't know how to live without my mom.
So I'm not.
I'm going to starve.
And then I'm going to see my family again.