I decided to put Elias in the past. At least I respected myself so much to walk away. Some people never make that decision for a fear of losing the loved one. But if you let one person ruin your life, you lose yourself.
That's when Dylan started to pick up the pieces of my broken heart. But you can never fix a broken heart because you get cut on sharp edges. Maybe he thinks I'm worth it. Worth caring for.
I should probably tell you about the boy who makes my everyday easier to get through. We met over a friend of mine. Her name is Elizabeth. We were the best of friends at the time. She introduced us and since the first time I saw him I have been under his spell.
His presence lighted up the room when I saw him standing in the middle of the room without no intention of being anybody else. He was not ashamed of getting to know me and we clicked instantly.
His smile made my stomach a place where butterflies settled in. And to be honest I still feel them every time we touch.
He gives me chills just by looking into my eyes because I feel like he sees my soul reflecting in them.
He was the perfect beginning of summer time. And even though I love summer more than any other season something changed that summer. Dylan and I have been separated for a while while I was away to seaside. The same sea side I spend my last summer on.
But this time Elizabeth didn't want to come with me because of the sadness in her heart and scars down her thighs. I was as lonely as ever. It was the same place but nothing was the same. The sea seemed darker, my smile faded and I just wanted to go home. And I was damn right because after three lonely days I didn't know it can get worse. But it did. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I got a message from Elizabeth saying we cannot be friends anymore. My heart started pumping like the day Elias left with tears in his eyes. And just as I crumbled back from the shower where my eyes were wet with tears and my mind wanting to kill myself I stood on the balcony looking at the shore. The sea was crashing hard by the shore. Just the way my heart was crashing into a million pieces. I was holding the balcony railing. My head was spinning by the thought of suicide. It was the worst I've ever been. But the day was still young and because one bad news on a bad day isn't enough, Elias' name was showing on my screen.
He wrote me a paragraph about never getting over me because I'm the only one for him.
It said: "Babe, I need to tell you something. I can't kiss another girl. I still have things on my mind that just don't let me do it. The thing on my mind is you, Anabell. I think of you every night when I cry and fall asleep right after. I miss every single hug, kiss, thing that made me happy and also you. No girl out there has that perfect, wide smile of yours that made me happy. I fell in love with you because of those lips and the smile you make with them. I just want that dreams we dreamed will come true and we marry and be happy. A big wedding with lots of people so I can proudly show them that you're finally just mine. Babe , our first talk about brushing your teeth. Gosh, it brings back memories I'll never forget. It felt so perfect and so magic. But our fights began shortly after. I wanted you to be only mine but you hung out with boys and I'm a jealous person because I lost too much already. Girl, I want to fall asleep cuddling with you and wake up single morning until we both die. I bet it would feel perfect.. But just not yet. Later when we both know what we want. But let me tell you just one thing, baby. I love you. I just can't get you off my mind. I really love you and I want you to be happy.That's all I wanted to tell you. Goodnight, my princess. "
I told him to put the past behind him and find another girl who he will love just as he then loved me. My life is not easy, I admit it. But there are always that kind of people who you know are worth suffering for. And Elizabeth and Elias really were worth suffering for. I'm just not comfortable with the thought I had to hurt them aswell.
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SAUDADE
RomanceA boy. A boy like any other. But not for me. It was the way his eyes captured the whole world just by looking at me. Me, a normal girl. I wondered how could that be. But yet again I couldn't be happier. Because for once in my life I'm tragically no...
