Habit

Chapter 25

"She is angle. I am curve. Together, we are a geometric sculpture, and we make perfect sense."

Lauren sat in the cafeteria beside her best friend, Normani, who was busy chowing down her sandwich that she claimed had to be the best thing ever. She sat and looked at everyone in the cafeteria. Her attention was continuously caught onto the couples that were sharing cute moments-prom was just around the corner. She watched at the in-originality but cute efforts of the boys who asked their girlfriends with big signs, large crowds, cakes, and/or balloons.

Her gaze then landed on her own unofficial girlfriend who sat across from Ally, a few tables away. They told each other that although they loved each other's company, for the sake of not losing their friends, they'd spend time away from each other. Camila didn't return the gesture because she was too caught up in the conversation she was holding with the shorter girl, and it gave Lauren the chance to examine her, and be able to more clearly organize her thoughts-how would she ask Camila? Would Camila even want to go? It's every girl's dream to go to prom, dance the night away, with that one special person, with the right dress, isn't it?

Did Camila even like to dance? She seemed more like the person to stay at home, but Lauren wanted to go to prom, and she wanted to share the experience with the one person who could make it the most memorable. Lauren had to think; she had to analyze all she knew about Camila and make this perfect.

Maybe it didn't have to be loud, because Camila didn't like big gestures; she liked the small things, the important ones, but what if Camila wanted a big gesture this time? What if Lauren had something more yet to prove to her, and the prom gesture being it? Could Lauren handle a spectacle of that sort? Yes, it was one thing to have a few fellow students catch them mid-kiss, or holding hands, or hugging, but this would be in front of the entire student body. All those doubts were silenced when Camila finally met her gaze. It stunned Lauren how one look could change everything, silence everything, mend everything, and it all that comfort was held in two simple but beautiful brown eyes.

Camila looked at her, with an expression that asked if she was okay, to which Lauren nodded with a small smile. Camila smiled back and rested her head on her hand to continue listening to the babbling of Ally.

What Lauren didn't know was that Ally was telling Camila all about how Troy had asked her to prom. Troy was Ally's boyfriend. They had been friends for a while, but it was never a defined relationship, until a few months ago. Camila didn't want to be jealous, but she was, not so much because she was not content with her relationship with Lauren but because, no matter how Lauren or she asked the other to prom, they'd still be judged or looked at differently when the event came up about. No matter how much they'd try to ignore the stares, the whispers, they'd still be present on that night, and she didn't want it to matter, their genders and their clashing.

But, it would. She was jealous at how free heterosexual couples were, how understood, how accepted. How all these gestures around her were considered cute and acceptable whereas a gay couple performing these wouldn't be.

Camila wondered if Lauren wanted to go, and she wondered if it ever occurred to Lauren that she had no idea on how to dance. She didn't know when to be soft and swift, and when to be fast and in a particular rhythm. That stage never happened for her because by the time sophomores and juniors started attending semi-formals and proms with upperclassmen- her drastic change was already put to play, and nobody ever asked her to go anywhere-besides a janitor's closet.

The day trailed along, and both girls were distant with each other, too caught up in their own thoughts to want to share them with the other. It was at the closing of the school day that Camila found Lauren waiting for her by her locker, resting her back against the wall. Camila smiled at the girl, and Lauren returned it. She waited for Camila to pack up her things before taking ahold of her hand, and intertwining their fingers. They brushed off the stares they got and walked out, both wanting to talk about the inevitable, but Lauren beat her to the punch.