Habit

Chapter 1

Camila sat on a bench near her locker as her peers walked into school, silently observing and trying to make sense of each and every one of them. She met gazes with some, and to no surprise, they all gave her looks of detest and even a few ludicrous laughs. She sighed and rolled her eyes, already accustomed to the appraisal she received. There was only one person whose opinion mattered to her anyway, and the way that person recoiled from her prevented all of those other horrible looks to even faze her. People like to say that she did this to herself, but they really have no idea. They aren't aware of the battles she faces on a daily basis ever since that night, and they never would because Camila's pride and embarrassment of that night's vulnerability keeps her mouth shut and everyone just assumes she's spiraling downhill for selfish and unfathomable reasons but they really have no idea. She sat back and waited for the arrival of the only person who gave her purpose-even if she was oblivious to it. Even if she knew she probably wouldn't even get so much as to being ignored, she had to see her to give her the strength and courage to get through the day that was to come. As the school doors opened, and in came the girl's usual crowd of friends, Camila abruptly found herself on her feet to speed to her locker, and hide her face and cautiously eye the girl from behind her locker door. She watched in admiration as the girl flipped her long locks out of her face and saw the smile that grew on her face at something one of her friends must have said, because her eyes widened in joy and as Camila squinted her own to try to distinguish what shade of green the girl's eyes were today, she was interrupted by a deep masculine voice in her ear, whispering what she assumed was a failed attempt to seduce her, but she knew she had to play along so she leaned against his frame and felt him smile against her neck, and just before she was about to turn around to see who she was dealing with today, she caught the look of disgust and disappointment from the other girl, and although she should be used to it, it still shot a dagger through her heart. Camila looked away immediately before Lauren could see the hurt in her eyes because she knew just how expressive her eyes could be and she put on a fake suggestive smile to the boy whose arms were roaming her body so blatantly in front of everyone, and knew today would be a long day. Lauren shook her head at the sight before her and as her and her friends walked by Camila, the word she muttered under her breath didn't fail to meet Camila's ears, ''Slut.'' Camila kept her eyes on the face in front of her with a fake smile plastered on her own, and she let her eyes examine each of his features to try to distract herself from the girl's proximity and hurtful words. It stunned Camila how the boy in front of her was so close to her yet couldn't grasp the fact that she was nowhere near him. He couldn't see the pain in her eyes, because his hormonal gaze was too occupied with every intention he was fore planning in his head for what was to come if they only walked the few meters to the nearby janitor's closet. Camila finally let her eyes travel behind his head to catch one last glimpse of Lauren before she nodded at the stranger in front of her and took his hand to lead him to what became a chronic habit to Camila's everyday lifestyle.