Unfazed

Five (Filler)

After last night with Julian, I laid in my bed. I couldn't help but think. Why does he want me? What does he want with me? Am I falling for nothing? Oh who cares? He's just a crush. Memories swept through my mind as slowly drifted off into a slumber.

"Jackson! Move! Why are you all up on me!?!" He snatched me by my hair and whispered, "I want you, and I need to have you. Now, if you tell, I'm going to kill you."

He pinned me to my bedroom wall, making me unable to reach for the 9mm out of my closet. He slapped me when I yelped for help.

As I ran to my closet he ripped my pajama shorts off and shoved his length in me. "Please Jackson! Stop!! It hurts!," I yelled as tears poured out of my eyes. "Shut the fuck up and take this dick," he whispered.

"Mom!?! Daddy!?! I need you!?!," I cried knowing damn well my dad was dead and gone and my mom was out working. When he was finished he pulled up his pants and left. I was in shock. I couldn't even move. When I was brought to my senses, I ran to my closet, locked the door, and loaded my gun, ready to kill.

I was ready to kill him and myself. But then I heard my mom. "LoLo? Loyalty? Loyalty!! Loyalty?!?"...........

"Loyalty!?!," my mom called shaking my body vigorously, waking me out my sleep.

"What, ma!," I answered agitated.

"Go to the store for me and get me some boiled peanuts," she demanded. Looking out the window, I saw the dark sky and bright street lights. I rolled my eyes and fixed my hair. I finger combed my flat ironed hair and slipped on my bandanna, shades, earrings to add-on to my simple outfit. I went to the closet to grab my gun and tucked it into my waistband and slipped my hoodie over it.

I put in my Apple headphones to listen to my song that explains my feelings, Fool's Gold by Jill Scott.

I was living a dream believing things that just ain't true
Oh, I can't believe I ever believed in you
You had me chasing fool's gold
I was chasing fool's gold
I was chasing fool's gold.....

I felt some one put their arm around my shoulder. I pulled out my headphones and looked up at Julian. "Why is your pretty ass doing at the corner store this time of night?," he questioned, viewing the streets of Hyde Park. "Shit, I'm protected in these streets," I confirmed. "Boy, why are you in this area don't you live way out somewhere?"

"I live around here actually but, was on the way to the park to shoot some hoops. But, I second thoughts so, I turned around and since the store was near I just stopped here." I nodded my head sticking my hands in my pocket and enjoying the night breeze. "A woman like you really shouldn't be out here this time of night," he continued.

"If a nigga wanted to mess with me, I'm would take care of them. My daddy wouldn't play that," I smiled being cocky.

"Damn, your dad get down like that? Lemme stay away from you," he half-joked.

"He used to. He is my protector ya'know, like a guardian angel. He died when I was twelve," I opened up as Julian had his tongue pressed against his cheek. The silence was cold and needed to be broken. He slowly lifted up my chin and pressed his soft pink lips on mine. My button started getting hot as he grabbed my waist. "Julian, please move. Let me get m-my mom's stuff," I giggled.

He winked and I strutted in the store making sure I put an extra twist in my step. Along with the boiled peanuts, I bought a king size Cookies n Cream Hershey bar, two honey buns, a small bag of Hot Funyuns and a Big Texas. I walked out to see Rodney and his girlfriend. I'm still trying to figure out why everybody is at this one store. Men started showing up playing music and half-dressed girls were trying to get attention like every night they show up.

I walked right past Rodney and kissed Julian on the cheek just to make Rodney feel some type of way. Julian caught on to what I was doing and asked, "Why are you so bad?" I shrugged my shoulders holding his hand to he can walk me home.

"I hope you don't think that I'm a hoe because I don't kiss a boy the first week I meet them."

"You don't seem like the type to carry yourself like that. Just as long as you ain't using me to make ol' boy jealous."

"Of course not. Forget him," I scoffed.

As Julian and I proceeded to walk I almost went blind as I saw some gang members throwing up multiple gang signs. "Julian, let's go," I whispered. We started running as shots were fired.

"Oh shit!," we both yelled as the bullets started approaching us. We ran into the back alley to hide until the gunshots were over. "Let me walk you home," he suggested.

"Nigga, are you crazy?!?," I yelled hearing more gunshots in the distance. He stared into my eyes and we both started cracking up.

"Julian, you're stupid," I giggled. He pulled me into a hug and kissed my forehead. We walked a few blocks until we reached my house. I walked across the lawn until I reached my doorstep.

There we were. Face to face. He stepped closer where I could feel his cold minty breath in my face. He smiled and wished me a good night.

"Sweet dreams," I stated before we parted ways. I closed the door behind myself slowly smiling from ear to ear.

I walked upstairs to my mom's room to see it empty. I shook my head in disappointment but realizing how happy I was to go out tonight to see Julian. I smirked cracking the peanuts with my teeth and going to my room.