Unfazed

Fifteen

Today is the day. My dad would be officially 33. To say I am devastated is an understatement. I saved the obituary from 6 years ago.

I checked the Micheal Kors watch on my wrist. My mom agreed to meet up in the backyard for a memorial at 6 o'clock. Now it's about 9 o'clock and she still didn't arrive here. I went back into the refrigerator to grab my dad's favorite beer: Olde English 800. I poured it into the green grass making a splashing sounds. Like I did every year, I had a candle light memorial praying and mourning.

I tried my hardest not to cry about this situation.

"Daddy, are you in a gang?," I asked him, even though I already knew the answer. He laughed, taking off his shades and kneeling down to me. "Listen, daddy made some stupid decisions when your momma was pregnant, but I promise you, I will get out of this when the time is right, okay bookie boo?," he assured.

"Okay, daddy. Let's go to the store," I told him. We walked through the neighborhood seeing a car slowly approaching us.

An all blue slowly Chevy Camero approached us. "Go home," he whispered in my ear and kissing my forehead. I looked at him crazy as he reached into his back pocket.

"Go!," he yelled pushing me back. He never pushed me so hard. He never pushed me at all. He got into the car with those men going into some trouble. This was a normal thing, but something was different.

I ran all the way home closing the door behind me. I fixed a large bowl of Coco Puffs which filled me up for most of the day.

I turned on the TV and flipped through the channels.

".....There has been a shoot out on Crenshaw. Between two gangs......... Henry Vialpando, Paco Hernandez, Leroy Johnson.......Vialpando pronounced dead.......No suspects found...."

Those words felt like I've been stabbed in the heart.

My mom entered the house coming from her shift. I jumped up from the couch, holding her tight as if she could go nowhere.

"Momma, he's dead! Daddy's dead!," I sobbed into her shoulder.

"Why me!?!," I screamed out.

A knock on my door interrupted my thoughts.

I swung the door open seeing Taylor with her hands in her pocket.

She walked giving me a long hug. I started crying. My chest was heaving up and down.

"It's okay, boo," she cooed.

"No the fuck it isn't! My mom isn't even here to comfort me. What type of mother does that?!," I cried out.

We sat in pure silence just mourning. The light from the candles reflected on our skin. I checked the time once again.

10:37 p.m.

I layed on Taylor and she was asleep. I, however, was still awake. The sound of the door unlocking made me sit up.

She cut on the light making my eyes close.

"Why the hell did you light up all these candles? And why didn't cook anything for me to eat?," she asked. Right about now, I wanted to snap on her. I realised that I was better than that. I blew out the candles, put a cover on Taylor and walked upstairs.

I slowly dozed off into a deep sleep.

The next morning....

Taylor carried a tray full of salmon patties, cheese grits and bacon. She knows the way to my heart is food.

I slowly ingested my food constantly hearing my phone buzz. I looked at the text messages.

To be honest, I missed him too. I hopped up, leaving my half eaten food on the bed.

"Ugh, go ahead and get your man," Taylor stated waving me off. I went into my closet and pulled out some high-waisted light denim washed jeans, a red cropped hoodie and some flip flops.

After I got dressed I grabbed my keys and Taylor followed behind me. "I guess you're coming too," I mumbled. I didn't know why she was coming. She most likely was gonna sit in my car getting blazed, listening to the radio.

As I knew, she was in my car rolling up. "Damn! Can you lay off that shit, please. You're stinking up my car," I complained.

"I'm not gonna light it, calm down," she assured. After she did that, she slowly put it back in her pocket. I shook my head, pulling up at Julian's aunt's house.

I knocked on the door twice before Julian came to the door shirtless. It's like he knows my exact weakness.

"You not gonna come in?," He asked curiously. My eyes scanned his body.

"I don't think that's a good idea. We can talk out here," I suggested. In one motion, he swooped me up and took me into the house. He dropped me on the bed and got on top of me.

"I love you girl. I'm so sorry I reacted that way. I miss you baby girl. I can't see myself without you. I wanna make this right," he spoke.

"I love you too, JuJu. Kiss me," he kissed me from my neck all the way down to my feet.

"You nasty, lil boy," I giggled. He slowly stripped off my clothes until I was in my undergarments. He stared at my body like I was the most beautiful girl in the world.

"I got you. Lemme make up my mistakes," he whispered taking off my sheer orange lace panties. He leaned down, separating my legs and placing his mouth on my cave.

"Mm, Julian," I moaned. He stuck his tongue on my clit flicking it fast.

"Shit!," I screamed grabbing a handful of his hair. He gave my clit a sloppy kiss and spat on it.

"Ahhh fuck. I forgive you," I moaned not able to hold my liquid. I wrapped my legs around his neck enjoying the pleasure. I grinded my hips upward, riding the features of his face.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. He then blew on it while rubbing my clit at the same time giving me tingles.

"Ooooh! Daddy!," I screamed squirting down his throat. My legs collapsed feeling the wet poodles on the sheets.

"Give Taylor the keys. You staying the night with me," he commanded.