Heart of the Pack

Chapter 3 - Harry William

My baby boy was attached to all the tubes and wires still, nothing had changed which in a way was a good thing as he hadn't got any worse, I bet my dad was watching over him, he has his own guardian angel now. As I stood beside the incubator a name came to me, "Harry William Clearwater" I said aloud, mom gasped a tear rolling down her cheek, "it's perfect baby, your dad would be so proud of you" she said wrapping an arm around my shoulder pulling me in closer. "I'll check with Leah and Seth before making it official, I hope they like it because it really suits him don't you think?" she simply nodded, she knew how much dad's death was affecting me even if I wasn't showing it, mom understood inside I was heartbroken but I had to keep it together for baby Harry's sake he need his mommy to help pull him through.

Soon visiting times were over, I was still yet to hold Harry in my arms but I couldn't he was too poorly which broke my heart, he had to pull through he had to. As we got home and walked into the house I realized the whole of Sam's cult were here, Leah and Seth were home, I tried to hug them but they wouldn't hug back, "I have a name for my son, I wanted to check that it was ok with you both before I made it official" I said, they didn't make a noise in response, "Harry William Clearwater" I said, they just nodded that they were ok with it, they were so blank and distant, I know our dad had just died but I was going through it too, I needed them but they weren't having any of it so I simply headed to my room away from all the people who betrayed me, I plugged my phone into my laptop importing the pictures I had taken of Harry, he was so beautiful and he was mine, he was here, he was alive. My little miracle. I knew dad would be watching over Harry, taking care of him making sure he made it, he was our reminder of him but I felt so empty I should be sharing this moment with my dad. I hate how Harry won't ever know his dad, my dad meant everything to me so I will have to try and me Harry's mom and dad, I was a single parent but I was going to try and be the best mom to him ever. He is my everything.

Suddenly, there was a light knock on my door, "come in" I called allowing whoever was on the other side to enter, it was Jake, this would be the first time I had spoken to him in months. He walked over to me not saying a word sitting beside me on the bed, "he's beautiful Mills, you should be so proud, I know I'm proud of you," he said as if he had never left, "thanks Jakey but why are you talking to me, you hate me remember" I sighed realizing the reality. "I don't hate you Mills... I never have and never will... I just can't be near you anymore, I'm not good for you any longer, I'm not a good kid no more. Maybe one day you will know why but I can't right now. I was just wondering if there was a possibility that Harry is mine?" he stuttered over his words.

It flashed before my eyes, kissing Jake as I got back to my house, us going up to my room, layers being torn off slowly as things got more passionate, him going down on me before he entered me, Jacob Black took my virginity, and I had taken Jacob Black's. SHIT! My mind was in overdrive, I was hyperventilating as I remember that night, Harry had to be Jacob's there was no other possible father, I had only ever slept with one person, that person just so happens to be my ex best friend. "I never remembered who his dad was Jake but you've made me realize it has to be you, you're the only person I've had sex with" I cried, maybe they were tears of relief that Harry would now know who his father was, I don't know. "There's one thing I want to ask Mills, can he have my surname, I want to be in his life, he is our little boy" he asked, I simply nodded knowing that I wanted Jake to be a part of his life, "promise me you won't leave me Jakey, I need you, please don't leave me" I cried on the verge of hysterics, "I don't care what Sam says, I can't leave you, you need me, Harry needs us. I promise Mills" he whispered before kissing my head. For the rest of the night we lay on my bed, the bed we had conceived our son on cuddling before I fell asleep dreaming, praying and hoping that Harry would pull through.

Yesterday my life got turned upside down but hopefully it will start getting better soon, I can't lose anyone else from my life.