Heart of the Pack

Chapter 28 - Falling Down

I hardly ever went to see the Cullen's anymore, not since Bella found out how I reacted with the whole Jacob thing, put it this way I no longer speak to my soon to be step sister, therefore I hardly ever see Seth. I can feel myself slowly falling into a pit of depression, I hardly ever see Harry anymore, he's always at Jacob's now seeing as Jake finally wants to be a father figure to Harry, that and the fact Harry adores Jake. Paul and Collin are never around the house due to being in the pack and Leah spends every waking minute with Embry unless it's to do with the pack but then again she's with Embry there too. It feels like it did when I didn't know about the world of wolves and vampires, back to the time Harry was born, I have nobody now, mom lives at Charlie's which isn't even close by, it's Forks. Slowly but surely I have lost everything good in my life.

I decided to go visit my daddy, something I haven't done in a while, he was taken from this earth far too early, pulling up to his headstone there was no flowers, no notes. Nothing. It was as if nobody had visited him for years, I had brought flowers and cards and pictures.

Daddy, I miss you so much, I wish you were here, I have no one, everyone has left me everything has changed since you went. Harry has grown up so much you would have loved him dad, you could have taken him fishing and taught him everything you taught me. Why did you have to go into the woods, you wouldn't of ran into that stupid leech and you'd still be here with me, you'd still be with mom, it would have been perfect but stupid Bella had to ruin it. She's the reason you're gone. I love you so much daddy. I cried as I spoke to my dad, well the headstone where my dad lay, he was so wise and kind, he wasn't just my dad he was my best friend, I'll never get to watch the football with him again or go in his boat with him whilst he's fishing, he won't get to walk me down the aisle when I get married... if I ever find someone. Life was just bringing me down, sometimes I think it would be better if I left this earth and joined him but I can't I have Harry and Collin to think about, they're the only reason keeping me here, oh and of course Paul too, my best friend, my rock when times were tough. He will always be my best friend, even if he isn't around much anymore. Looking up to the sky, the clouds were darkening, a storm was coming I better get home before the rain starts to fall, "I have to go daddy, I love you and miss you so much, I promise I'll come back soon" I spoke holding his headstone and my necklace, the one he gave me for my 16th birthday.

Once I reached home, I went upstairs to change, I wanted to be warm and cosy seeing as all I felt inside was cold and emptiness. So I changed into a pair of sweatpants and a jumper before heading downstairs putting the fire on and making a cup of hot cocoa. I wasn't interesting in watching television so I sat in front of the fire looking through the old pictures mom had stored in the albums, there were ones of me, mom and dad before they had Leah and Seth, then ones of us all as they were born, eventually progressing onto us growing up. I miss them both deeply, I know they're only a phone call away but they are busy with their own lives, Leah has Embry, her imprint and fiancé, and Seth has Nessie, his imprint who's growing so fast. Each of us had our own album as well, mine was of my best friends, Jake, Paul, Bella and Rebecca. Now it was just me. Rebecca was in Hawaii with her husband, she couldn't face La Push anymore after Sarah's death, Bella and I were no longer on speaking terms, I couldn't face Jake without feeling my heart shattering into millions of pieces, he was getting married soon but I couldn't get over him. Then there was Paul, he was still in my life but I never see him, he's always out with the pack, or working.

I was taken away from my interest in the photos in front of me when there was a knock at the door, I wiped the tears that had betrayed me and fallen down my face away with the sleeve of my jumper before opening the door, there stood Emily and Kim, "come in, don't stand in the cold" I ushered them in standing away from the door to let them pass. "Mia, have you been crying?" Kim questioned as they both entered into where I had previously been sat, "yeah, it's nothing just looking at old pictures" I tried passed it off as if it was nothing but deep down inside I was hurting so much, Emily and Kim however didn't look convinced, "Mia, you can tell us the truth, I know you aren't telling us the whole truth, we're worried about you, we don't see you anymore, you never call, text, or come round like you used to, we miss you" Emily asked grabbing my hand making me look at her. As soon as I looked up at the both I burst out into tears, the tears I had been holding in for so long, "I don't feel I can come round anymore, I'm not part of the pack anymore, I'm just Jacob's ex he threw away, just Leah and Seth plain boring sister, I'm just nothing to do with the pack anymore, just someone everyone used to know. Mom left me for Charlie, Seth left for Nessie, Collin and Paul for the Pack, Harry for Jake, Jake for his imprint. Even my dad left me, I have no one, everyone else has someone but me, why would anyone want me I'm broken, that's why everyone always leaves me in the end" I ranted finally letting my emotions out.

"Mia, you always have us, you are part of the pack just as much as anyone else, we are not just your friends, we are your family, everyone is worried about you, Paul and Colin especially they hear you crying in your sleep at night but there's nothing they can do if you don't let us in, you know you are always welcome at mine and Sam's place, Mia, you're my cousin I hate seeing you so upset when you have so many people who care about you, you just need to realise that you aren't alone, you have us. You've had to deal with so much shit in your life but you still come out fighting, you have a beautiful little boy who adores you so much, you've always got to remember that even if you aren't with Jacob, you are still a part of this dysfunctional family we have" Emily said, "Mia, don't push us out again please, if you ever feel like this know, we are only a call, text or visit away, I'd drop anything for you or Emily, hell even Leah because you are all like the sister's I never had" Kim said with a tear in her eye.

They both really meant what they said, I felt happiness, something I hadn't felt in a long time, I pulled both of them in for a hug, "I'm sorry, I just thought no one would want me round seeing as I'm not Jacob's imprint, I realise now I was being stupid, I felt so alone but both of you coming round bringing me to my senses has helped so much, I'm sorry for being so distant," cried into their shoulders as we continued to hug, "enough, we're are kidnapping you so go get some clothes, you are staying with us tonight, it'll me, you, Kim, Leah, Embry, Quil, Claire, Sam and Paul," Emily told me.

Once I had sorted some clothes out, I was drove to Emily's by Kim who had drove here with Emily to see what was going on with me, they were slowly pulling me out of the pit of depression I was digging myself into. I walked in behind the girls quite sheepishly wondering if I was actually welcome here anymore, turns out I was because as soon as Quil and Embry saw me they ran to me hugging me before returning to their game, "good to see you again Mia" Sam nodded at me, he was a man of very few words unless he was going all Alpha on the pack, I sat on the sofa watching the boys play their game for a while before Leah, Paul and Jared strolled in from their Patrol, Jared went straight to Kim, Paul to the food Emily was getting out from the oven, whereas Leah ran to me pulling me off the sofa into a bone-crushing hug at the moment she saw me, "Leah, I'm only human remember" I squeaked, she released me a little before pulling me out at arm's length, "I missed my big sister so much, I'm sorry I haven't been around, I promise ill spend more time with you Mia, will you be my maid of honour, we finally set a date, June 24th?" she asked hopefully, all I could do was nod pulling her back in for a hug. When we finally released each other we looked around to see everyone staring at us with smiles on their faces, all me and Leah could do was laugh, Leah went and sat beside Embry on the floor as I took my spot on the sofa again before Paul came and joined me with two muffins in his large hands, offering me one as he sat down beside me which I took graciously.

"I heard you at the graveyard before M, I'm sorry I haven't been around, there's been some unusual scents passing through so we've upped patrols, I miss spending time with you, I was wondering if you'd like to go out and do something tomorrow, it's my mom and dad's anniversary and I miss you so wanted to do something with you whilst also keeping my mind off the fact they're gone?" Paul said looking down at the muffin in his hand, "course I will Pauly, I know how much you'll be hurting, I'm here for you" I said smiling at him as he raised his head before putting his arm around me cuddling me.

I was finally getting the happiness back in my life, I had my family back, I was home.

AN- I would like to say a massive thank you to all the readers who continue to read and vote on my book. I would also like to thank all the new readers. I hope you all love the story so far.