Unwanted Cupcakes

Chapter Thirty One

Dead. Flynn's dead. I repeated the words in my head again and again as if waiting for someone to tell me he wasn't.

Waiting for someone to pull the image of Flynn dying out of my head and burn it; never letting it see the light of day again.

Erasing it from existence.

Please bring him back, I plead, please please please. He was all I had. Please.

I curl in on myself even more than I already have, squeezing my eyes shut tighter, grabbing at the skin on my sides harshly. Please.

"Faye?" Lexis calls out from behind the door. The second he dragged me out of Flynn's room I'd lost it. I shoved out of his arms, hitting him repeatedly until he let me go, running off the second he did. He was hot on my tail, yelling at me to come back and stop running but why the fuck should I listen to him?

I opened the first door I could when I saw he was gaining on me and entered, slamming it shut. Thankfully there was a lock and I turned it, collapsing onto the floor straight after, holding myself together so tightly because I was afraid I would just break apart.

And that's where I still was now, what could possibly be hours later. Lexis had stayed outside the door the whole time, trying to lure me out but failing. He eventually gave up, but told me he wasn't going anywhere, that he was right outside.

The whole time I could only replay Flynn's words, could only replay how abruptly he left. How abruptly I felt my whole world turn upside down.

My body shook with dry sobs and heaves, wanting to let out all that was in my body, hoping to let out the pain as well.

And it didn't help that I replayed each and every single memory we had together.

Somewhere in between torturing myself and wishing I could just leave along with Flynn, I'd remembered his parents. Did I tell them? Is that what I was meant to do? And then I felt a rage build within myself. It was all their fault. If they weren't shitty parents and did the job they were meant to do, Flynn wouldn't have left. He wouldn't be dead.

Dead. Flynn's dead. No matter how many times I say it, it still kills just as much as watching it happen.

"Faye?" Lexis calls out again desperately. "Please just say something so I know you're there. Please?" He sighs, "What will it take to get you to come out?"

I open my eyes at the question, releasing my grip on my body slightly. "Let me go," I choke out, my voice coming out as a hoarse whisper.

"What? I can't hear you."

"I said," I say, clearing my throat a little to try and get it to come out stronger and shifting closer to the door. "Let me go."

There's silence on the other side, and then, "Okay."

"Okay?" I repeat.

"Yes, okay. Come out then."

"I swear to God Lexis, if you're lying to me," I get up and unlock the door, holding the handle and taking a deep breath, wiping at my face before opening the door.

Lexis jumps up the second the doors open, pulling me into a hug. My body freezes and then relaxes every so slightly but I don't hug back.

He pulls away, his hands staying on my shoulders and looks me in the eye. "I'm not lying. You can go. You can leave right now and never see my face ever again. You can leave right now if you tell me that's what you want. Wholeheartedly."

I shake myself out of his grip and avert my eyes, "That's what I want."

"Look me in eyes, Faye," he growls, somewhere managing to sound soft at the same time.

Clenching my shaking hands into fists, I look him in the eyes and open my mouth, "That's-" and I don't get to finish the rest of the sentence because then he's leaning forward and his lips are on mine.

And it's every single cliché I've ever read.

It's like everything and everyone around us freezes. Like time stops and the world stops turning. After the initial shock passes, I'm responding. Kissing back with the same amount of passion.

It isn't slow and romantic and it isn't fast and heated. It's 'I'm sorry's and 'don't's and it's all too much.

Fucking butterflies and fireworks erupt in my stomach, fluttering and banging around so much it feels like I'm going to puke. But it's such a fucking good feeling.

His hands trail down my sides, stopping at my hips and gripping them tightly but lose enough for it not to hurt, my hands snaking around his neck, gripping the hair at the bottom.

I'm pushed back into the wall, Lexis pulling back to let us breathe before launching in again. It escalates the second he pries my mouth open, tongues clashing in a fight for dominance.

It's as if every unsaid thought and emotion was being put into the kiss. And it really was too much.

Lexis pulls away, his eyes searching mine which were blurry with tears I didn't know I was shedding. He wipes them away one by one as they fall, "Why are you crying?" He asks tenderly, voice low and quiet like he's trying to let this moment last.

And I wish it could because it was every cliché apart from the one where it got me to stay.

Lifting my hands to cover his, I let a few final tears fall before masking my face, leaving it stoic and emotionless. Staring him straight in the eye and going against the part in me telling me to just stay, telling me he's what I can have, I say the words that break all of this, "That's what I want."

...

A/N

Jesus fucking Christ. Shit on a fucking brick and whack me with it (don't really).

I'm sorry.

Comment what you think?

'Til next time my little poop nuggets,

-S