Tara
"I feel so fat." Lani whined while carrying the dress she picked out for graduation.
"You aren't fat, just pregnant and you're barley showing."
"Tara!" I heard a child's voice call out.
My eyes scanned over the food court until they met with August and then his nieces. I know that was Kay yelling across the mall.
I met them when Aug and I were in our early stages of dating. They've loved me ever since.
They ran over to me with their hair bouncing everywhere.
"Auntie Tara, where have you been?" Kay sassed with her hand on her hip.
I searched mind for a lie which I didn't want to tell.
"Well sometimes people drift apart-"
"You dumped him like a pile of bricks, huh?" Kay cut me off.
"Kay." August gave her a warning look.
This little girl has no type of chill. Just like Aug.
"How come we don't see you no more?" Chay asked.
"Uh, I've been really busy." I lied.
"Too busy to see us?" Mya pouted making me feel bad.
"No, I just-- how about tomorrow I take you to get ice cream?" I sighed.
It wasn't that I didn't want to spend time with them, it was just that I didn't want to be around August. And I know he's coming tomorrow.
They quickly nodded their heads in unison. I hugged them before continuing with shopping.
"You know it's going to be really awkward tomorrow." Lani spoke.
"I know."
☆☆☆
"Then the girl said I was stupid so I accidentally punched her in the face." Kay told her story about some girl at school while eating her vanilla ice cream.
"You can't accidentally hit someone, Kay." Chay told her.
"Yes you can if the person is too close to your fist while you're stretching." Mya pointed out.
They started going back and forth until August suggested they go play on the playground. They ran off leaving just the two of us.
I avoided contact with him, continuing to enjoy my ice cream.
"It's rude to not speak to someone." He broke the silence.
"It's also rude to cheat on your girlfriend but hey, you still did that." I chuckled.
He sighed as he ran him hand down his face.
"Why did you do it?" I asked feeling the need to have some type of closure.
I've been trying so hard to avoid him that I never got the chance to ask why. To ask where I went wrong for him to cheat on me.
"...You were distant after the whole Nate thing and then with the abortion." He started.
I sat back feeling uneasy. Hearing his name messes up my train of thought.
August continued, "I couldn't touch you without you flinching or pushing me away. Then I went to tutor Shannie, I was horny and one thing led to another."
He sat there waiting for a reaction. All I could do was mentally choke him. I don't want the girls witnessing me killing their uncle in a ice cream shop.
"Were her and Brazil the only girls?"
"I've had sex with Shannie more than five times while we were together. And I had sex with three other girls that I tutored, including Brazil."
I couldn't believe the words that were coming out of his mouth right now. This is not the same August I laid eyes on the first day of school.
"You know none of those girls wanted anything to do with your ass before you changed your appearance. I was the one who saw past that. I was the one who was always there for you when you were getting bullied." I scoffed.
There was nothing he could say, all he could do was sit there looking stupid.
"I was dealing with something that was traumatic and you weren't there for me like how I was there for you. I have nightmares every night...just like I cry myself to sleep every night because of you. I loved you August." I felt my eyes water.
"Tara." He reached his hand across the table to grab my hand but I quickly snatched away.
"Don't touch me." I gritted my teeth. "And you know the most disrespectful thing you could've done is start dating the same bitch you was cheating on me with."
I wiped my tears and swirled my spoon in my now melted ice cream. The table fell silent once again with the tension more thick than what it was before.
There was nothing else for me to say to him at this point.
"I still love you." He said.
"I don't know if I can say I feel the same." I spoke just above a whisper as I looked him in the eyes that were filled with hurt.
I hope he feels the same pain I feel every time I see that vision of him with another girl in my head.
"I know you don't mean that."
"I do mean it, August." I told him with not sign of emotion in my voice.
August
"Why do you look like it's the end of the world?" Chris asked.
"Tara hates me."
"I would hate your ass too. You expect her to be running back into her arms after you cheated on her multiple times?" He looked at me as if I was stupid.
"She just looked so hurt yesterday when I told her everything."
Hearing those words escape her mouth yesterday really felt like a dagger to the heart. I never meant to hurt her.
"Well if it were vise versa and Tara cheated on you, wouldn't you feel hurt too?"
I stayed silent, already knowing the answer to that question. There's no point in trying to get her back because I know she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore.
And the words from her mouth that embedded themselves into my brain was enough clarification.
She wants nothing to do with me so I'll give her what she wants. It's the least I could do.
♤♤♤♤
Tara?
August?
Do you see them rekindling their relationship?
Excuse mistakes.
