The Summer to Remember

Boston, Massachusettes

Pre-Note: Thank you all soooo much for 1,000 reads! That's amazing! :D <3

Anthony:

How could I possibly be so stupid?

It all made so much sense. Why Ian never tried with girls. Why he had been acting so strange the past few weeks. It was like driving along the road, then coming across a sign that you don't want to read because you think you know exactly what it will say; STOP or YIELD, but then later you find out that that sign said so much more. My sign said: "Hey idiot, your best friend is in love with you."

It was just so obvious. My sign had been there for years, and I had really been so ignorant this whole time. I just drove right past it, thinking nothing of it, until it screamed at me: "Hey dummy, pay attention to me!"

I felt so bad. I honestly did. I just didn't know what to do. I didn't like Ian. Sure, I had been feeling something lately, but this seemed to happen after every bad break-up. And the fact that we had spent literally every second together this past month probably contributed a little.

So, what was I supposed to do? 

I mostly just tried to push the thought out of my head, but it kept creeping up on me at the worst times. Things were just so different now, and I wished they weren't. I tried to pretend things were normal; that we were just two best friends on vacation. But it just wouldn't happen. My sign seemed to pop up at every corner, reminding me that things would never be the same.

The whole five hours from Bar Harbor to Boston were spent in almost complete silence. I tried to talk to him, but he would either just reply with one word or a nod of his head. I mean, I guess I didn't blame him; the feeling must have been pretty similar to a break-up, and I sure as hell knew what that felt like. And I felt bad. He must have been in so much pain, but I didn't know what to do. Yes, we would still be best friends, and nothing could ever change that, but things were just... awkward. And I had a feeling they would be for a long time.

Really, the only thing I could think of was to get him to fall out of love with me.

But first, I wanted answers.

*

Boston was a really cool city.

It reminded me a lot of Salt Lake City, with all the buildings and lights. But, the mountains were replaced by water and ship docks. By the time we got there, it was pretty late, around nine. We checked into our hotel and dropped our stuff off, but I wasn't tired at all.

"You wanna go for a walk or something?" I asked, setting my duffel bag onto one of the beds.

He shrugged. "Okay."

We walked down the street, and then turned onto this walkway that sat above the waterfront. The various lights from buildings and streetlights reflected off the water, creating an image that seemed to only be realistic in paintings before this point.

We walked slowly along the path for a while, in complete silence, occassionally being passed by bicyclists or couples or cars. After a while, I turned and sat right along the side of the road, dangling my feet off the edge. I felt Ian sit next to me, and I sighed heavily.

"Pretty, isn't it?" I asked, staring out past the sailboats along the shore and the blinking light of what looked like a cruise ship.

He probably nodded, but I didn't look to see. For some reason, I felt, like, nervous. To ask the questions that had been on my mind since last night. The questions that kept me up all night, with Ian on the bed opposite to me, probably up as well. 

I sighed again and looked down at my hands.

"Ian, can I... can I ask you something?"

I looked up and over at him, and he stared straight out at the water, his beard long and eyes dark.

"I guess," he said quietly, not moving his gaze.

I looked over towards the city, clenching my hands into fists.

"Umm... how long have you... you know..." I bit my lip, not really sure how to put it. "Liked me?"

It grew silent as a bubble of tension seemed to form around us, and I quickly spoke again.

"You don't have to answer that... if you don't want to."

I slowly looked over at him, and he was in the same position as before. He seemed frozen. 

And then, he shrugged a little.

"I mean, you already know, what's the point of holding anything else back?"  He blinked once, and then talked completely smoothly and casually, like it was no problem at all, which really surprised me. He didn't even stutter once, which was extremely rare. "Well, I'm not exactly sure. I would say something really cheesy, like 'I've known you were the one since the moment I laid eyes on you,' but that's not exactly true. Sure, since we first met I thought you were like, really attractive, but I don't know if I necessarilly liked you back then. I think I did deep down inside, but was too scared to actually force myself to believe I was gay. And then, over middle school and the first little bit of high school when we didn't see each other much, I learned to accept my sexuality, and then when we became really close," he paused briefly just to shrug. "I knew that I really did like you."

I stared hard at him, absorbing every word, but he seemed to be talking to the air, staring straight ahead the whole time. 

I looked down, seeming to be at a loss for words, the air thickening around me. 

"Why... why didn't you ever tell me?" I choked out, twisting my fingers in my lap.

"Because I was scared. And I knew you didn't like me back. I mean, it was obvious."

"So... if you knew, why did you decide to tell me now?"

Silence fell over us again, and I looked up, and I swear, I thought he really had turned to stone. And then, he opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again.

"I really don't know. I just thought you deserved to know."

I looked back at the painting-seeming scene in front of us, not sure how to respond. The air was starting to cool off, and I shivered just a little.

"Well, thanks for telling me. Seriously." I bit my lip. "Again, I'm really sorry, I don't... I don't feel the same way."

He didn't say anything, and I glanced back over to just get more freaked out at his not-changing emotion. It really seemed like he should be crying, or at least showimg something, but he only stared straight ahead, his expression completely blank.

And then he whispered two little words that made me feel so bad, like I had just accidentally ran over his childhood pet and just told him the news.

"Me too."

A/N: Alright guys, so this will probably be my last update until towards the end of August :( I'm going to band camp next week and then the very next day leave for my annual two-week vacation to Maine (yes what I wrote about in the last chapter) where I get no service and have very little free time D: So yeah. I'll miss you guys! I PROMISE I'll be back! And also, when I do get back, I decided in addition to this, I also wanna write my first crossover fic! It's gonna be Smosh and Supernatural, a.k.a. my two obsessions, and I'm really excited :D Alright alright. Oh, and the little bit of service I do get up there will probably spent on twitter, so make sure to follow me there - gracetheninja :) I'll be back before you know it! <3 See ya latah c: