Coming Down [G-Eazy]

Chapter XXIV

A/N: This chapter is so short, mainly because this was initially supposed to be a part of the one before it but it took me so long to get it written, so yeah. I'm trying so hard to get stuff done, but school is busy and honestly sorting out the plot for this is going to be the death of me. I have reading week in about three weeks, but I have midterms starting next week so there probably won't really be an update until break. Also this hit 17k (!!!) Thank you all so much for being so patient with me and still reading even though I'm horrible with updating. I appreciate every one of you. x (ignore errors, I'm too lazy to edit this right now lol)

I couldn't help but notice the way G was staring at me after we had sex. It was making me feel vulnerable, which made no sense considering the amount of time I had spent naked around him, but just the way he was looking at me made me feel weird.

I pulled the blankets up over my body, flipping him off. "Stop."

"Stop what?" he asked.

"Staring at me," I responded.

He blinked, averting his gaze slightly before locking eyes with me again. "I can't help it. You're honestly... You're beautiful, Lena."

"Beautiful?" I laughed. "I didn't think that was a part of your vocabulary, G."

He exhaled audibly. "Funny. I'm serious, though. Fuck, Lena. I... Wow."

"Wow what?" I questioned, a bit confused.

"You... I don't..." he paused, rubbing his hand across his face as if trying to formulate the words to say. This was strange as he was never really one who acted this way. In the months that I've known him, it was rare to ever see him at a loss for words. "I am so fucking scared, honestly."

"Scared? Of what?"

"You," he spoke. "The things that I'm feeling for you, Lena. It scares me. I know that I play it off that it's all about the sex and that I don't really care, but I fucking do. I hate feeling like this because it is so fucking confusing. Sleeping with you over the course of months is one thing but... Everything else? I've never felt like this toward anyone before and it is the most terrifying thing I've ever experienced. I think... I think what I'm feeling for you is a lot more than just lust, Lena, and I fucking hate myself for it."

I stared at him blankly, unsure of how to respond to all of this. "I... Wow, G. I don't know what to say."

"Yeah, me neither," he sighed, chuckling a bit. "It's strange and honestly a bit overwhelming caring about someone as much as I care about you. Like, you are the first girl I've wanted to simultaneously pin against a wall and make breakfast for every morning. You make me feel like I'm not in control anymore and that is a very scary thing for me. I just... I guess what I'm saying is I really fucking like you, Lena."

I honestly was speechless, as this was the last thing that I was really expecting from him. I was in disbelief that these words were actually coming from his mouth. "G..."

"I know the whole deal here was it was supposed to be just sex and nothing more, but I really wanna try this whole thing for real," he cut me off. "I'm sorry... This is fucking weird. I get it if you don't want the same. It's not really what we initially agreed on and I never thought I'd feel like this, to be honest."

"I... It's not that it's not something I want, G," I exhaled audibly, glancing away from him. "I think we both know that it's not going to work. Both of us are living way too fast for a serious relationship. Realistically it just... I don't see it."

He took my face in his hands, forcing me to look at him. "Lena, please. It's not like much will change. I just... I want to be able to call you mine."

I couldn't help but laugh a bit at how serious he was being.

"What are you laughing at?" he questioned me.

I shrugged, leaning in closer to him. "It's funny to me that you were the one who went all sappy first. I never thought I'd see the day when you would ever get emotionally invested."

He rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "Yeah, me neither. Look at what you've done to me," he joked, making me laugh again. "So... Can we do this for real?"

I smirked, pressing my lips against his. "Maybe."

"Maybe?" he repeated, pulling away. "If you don't, I get it. We can just pretend like I didn't say anything and go back to the way it was."

I was kind of hesitant on this whole thing; after all, I knew the kind of person G was capable of being. Regardless of that, however, I couldn't deny that I was in fact feeling something more for him as well. Separating my feelings of lust toward him from actual "feelings" was difficult, but it was becoming pretty obvious that things were more complex than just strictly sex.

I averted my gaze from his, sighing. "G... I do want to be with you, but I need you to be sure that you actually do want to be with me and it's not just the fact that you like the sex that you want to."

He took my face in his hands once again. "I am sure."

"Okay..." I paused. "We can try, but if you fuck up I'm gone. Got it?"

He chuckled, pressing his lips onto mine. "Wouldn't have it any other way, Lena."