Marriage of convenience

Chapter 26

The next morning, although I didn't wanna wake up, I was shaken awake by my grandmother and my head pounded as if I had a bad hangover. 

"Wake up, Angela. It is almost noon!" She yelled. 

"I don't wanna wake up!" I yelled. "Just let me stay here!"

"Whom are you raising your voice at, young lady?" Her voice grew stern and I became stubborn. It was all because of this woman in front of me that I was going through all of this. If only she didn't trick me into marrying him, we both could have been living our lives peacefully. Ray would have never met me and gone through all the depressing moments and I would have never fallen for him. It would have been just perfect.

"You, grandma, I am raising it at you! Do you still not understand?" I woke up with impulsive frustration. I wasn't planning on letting her know anything, but it was all involuntary. My heart was the one which was taking the reins of my body instead of my brain. Anger was clouding my brain and my heart was ready to take the highway to hell. "It is all because of you and your pathetically stupid arrangement of our marriage that has brought me to this. Why would you even think of doing something like that to play with our lives? Did you think that it would all go well and that we would be happy together? Did you really think that we would not have anyone else in our lives and fall in love with each other? That we would have a happily ever after?"

"What are you talking about?" She looked bewildered, but after the passing of a moment, she did realize. It was visible on her face that she understood what I was saying. It wasn't a sudden outburst of mine. She knew that this day would come. We all knew that this day would come. Some day or the other, she had to face this side of mine. "Angela..."

"Oh, so you now know what I am talking about?" I raised my eyebrows, my sarcasm levels notching up a little higher than necessary.

"If this is about your marriage to Ray, then it has a lot of legal matters behind it and..." she trailed off. She couldn't do it. Giving me the same reason of some idiotic legal issues wasn't going to settle it. It was about time she acknowledges that it was her fault that she made this kind of a deal with Ray's grandmother.

"And what? I might as well listen till the end of what you have to say, grandma. I want to hear it all today. Tell me one good thing that you have achieved by getting me married to him. Just one thing and I will let this go."

"Financial-"

"Yeah? Financial security, you say?" I laughed humorlessly. "What? Did you think that I didn't have enough money that I had to get married to the heir of some kind of a company? If you really thought that way, then let me tell you this. My mother has saved up enough money for me to live at least until my graduation and after that, I am very confident that I can fend for myself. I wouldn't even have to live with you people if you thought that I was going to be such a financial burden!"

"I didn't mean it in that way, Angela! I was just saying that..."

"You were giving excuses, grandma. You understand that? Those are all pathetic excuses for the things that you have done to me. If only my mother was alive, I wouldn't have to go through these kinds of things. I would be living happily, away from all the hell that I am facing right now! It is just my misfortune that I am stuck here living this life!" I yelled, picked up my things and walked out of the door, slamming it hard, just to let her know that I was done.

I was out of the house with just a jacket, wearing just my pajamas, my wallet and my keys. There was not even my phone with me and I didn't really care about it. Right then, I just needed some time alone with myself. I didn't need people, I just needed my mother who was up in the heavens. She passed away when I was 15 from cancer, and from then, I began living with my grandparents. And now that I was 18, so many things happened at once, that it was too difficult for me to cope up so quickly. Subconsciously, I was at my mother's grave, sitting down in front of it and just staring into the space. I never spoke to her grave or did things which creep people out, but I felt a sense of warmth whenever I was there near her. That was the closest I felt to her and whenever I felt sad, depressed or lonely, I came out there to sit along with her. It always made me feel like she was right beside me, sitting and comforting me, telling me things which are comforting and giving me strength to face the world again.