Poems 2011(:

Lost In You

The pain is becoming unbearable. I can't bear to see. To breathe. To think. To eat. To sleep.

You’re not around. I don't know what to do.

I'm lost. I'm lost in you.

Sometimes our here but sometimes you’re not. It's hard to choose what's right and what’s not.

I don't do much because of the pain. I don't do anything because of the pain.

It came onto us all to fast, nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. Now we're out of options. Out of time.

No you gone. Nowhere to be found. You vanished like sand in the wind.

All I feel is pain.

It's becoming unbearable. I can't bear to see. To breathe. To think. To eat. To sleep.

My nights are filled with terror. Nightmares. Screams. Coldness. Fear. Tears. Pain. Them. The people in black. Dragging you away from me while I scream and reach out for you. Pulling you away. Pulling me away while I kick and squirm. Falling to the ground. Clawing franticly to get away. Clawing to get away so I can run to you. Run to you and hold you. Pull you close. Hold on to you forever. They just keep pulling you and me apart. Further and further away. I keep screaming your name. Over and over again. I can't see you anymore.

I jump straight up. Wrap your hoodie around me. Wrap myself into a ball and cry.

My days are filled with darkness. No one. No you. Tears. Pictures. Songs. Fading memories. Loneliness. No one. No you.

Every last memory of you is starting to fade away.

But that's why it’s all locked up in your memory book. I you jewelry box. Everything of you. Locked up and safe.

It's still here. Safe and unharmed.

I miss you. Things aren't the same without you here, helping me. Holding me. Loving me.

I'm lost. I'm lost in you.

Lost in your smile. Lost in your songs. Lost in your memories that have become so long.

Lost in our picture. Lost in my bed. Lost in your chest when you hold my head.

I think of you and I smile. I'm lost, lost in you and I hope it stays that way for a while.

~7/5/11~