Poems 2011(:

Suffocation

When you leave, I'll be incredibly sad. When you leave, I'll be dead. When you leave I'll suffocate. Without you beside me, my heart will hurt. My heart will cry. It will cry out for love. It will cry out for comfort. It will cry out for you.

I will miss being in your arms. I will miss your sweet voice and your comforting words. I will miss your hugs and your warmth.

I won't say goodbye and I won't let you go. You’re too important to me. I would never leave. It would kill me. Rip me to shreds. The pain, the pain would be unimaginable.

It already hurts to be away from you for a couple of days. I don't know how long I'll last. I'm going to change. I won't be the same. I'll be sad. Gloomy. Hurting. Missing. I won't be here.

I'll hang back from the crowd instead of leading. I'll be crying instead of the smiling. I'll be sleeping all the time.

Sleeping brings me closer to you. You’re always in my dreams. You’re always fighting the bad ones away. You’re always in my thoughts. I'll never wake if you’re there.

Sleeping lets me feel you. It lets me feel like you’re there. Your arms around my waist. Your warm breath on my neck.

I'm going to miss your sweet smile. The sweet way you make me laugh. I'm going to miss your beautiful eyes. Your cute wavy hair. The touch of your hands. The taste of your kiss. The warmth of your hugs.

Everything. I'm going to miss everything about you. Everything you say. Everything you do.

This is going to hurt like hell. It's going to be hard to get used to not seeing you. It's going to be hard to get used to not hearing your voice. I don't know if I can make it. I doubt I can.

My heart is going to ache. My heart is going to hurt. Being cut off from your touch is like being cut off from all air.

I wish you could stay; at least you’re not going willingly. I know you would if you could, we've tried so hard. Searched end to end. Jumped on every opportunity.

But that small light of hope is quickly fading. It's nearly gone. We’re running. Running to it.

Suffocation is growing near. Time is running short. It's already becoming harder to breath.

I'm preparing myself. I'm preparing to break down. To cry. To weep. I'm preparing to become weak. I'm preparing to die.

I'm preparing my body. I'm preparing it for the cold. It won't be used to not feeling you. Not feeling your warmth. It's not used to the cold. Not used to the shadows.

This will be a test for both of us. It's going to be hard. It's going to be painful. But we'll turn it all around because it's not too late. It's never too late. But we can make it. You can never say never.

I'm terrified that I'll lose you. That you'll find someone better. That you'll let go.

Please don't go away. Don't let me go.

Every single day. I think about how we came all this way. All the memories we've had. I think about our future.

But we can't. We can't tell. The future, no. But that's just the beauty of the world we know.

We just have to take it step by step. Day by day. We'll climb over all the walls; we'll climb out of all the holes. We'll make it down the broken road.

We're falling apart but we pull it together, again and again. We'll turn it all around because it's not too late, it's never too late.

It's never too late, you can never say never.

It's all or nothing. All the way to the end. Just take my hand we'll make it I swear.

Just take my hand; we'll make it I swear.

It's all or nothing. All the way to the end.

I suffocate when you’re away from me. No air left. I'll be hurting but I'll keep fighting. The pain will eat me away, but I'll keep fighting.

Without you here I will suffocate. No breathing.

But we'll make it. I swear.

~6/4/11~