Poems 2011(:

You!

You say you hate me every single day, and you still say it, even when I go away. Everything I do must be wrong. Even though I try to make you happy, I guess I took too long. I can't stand to be around you and your constant name calling. When I look into your eyes, I feel like I'm falling. Because of you he never gets blamed. Because of you I always get framed. You always look at me when he throws he fit. You always comfort him then I get hit. You always yell at me for the stupidest stuff. You always hit me when times get tough. I don't know what to say and I don't know what to do. I'm always so lost and confused and it's all because of you. When you say you love me, I'm always in doubt. So I have to do something to let all the pain and anger out. So I go outside and walk up to my best friend. I take a nice punch with my right hand. I don't feel the pain as I stand out there. I can see my breath in the cold December air. I take another punch and it feels so good. My mind starts racing, which I knew it would. I shouldn't be doing this to this poor tree. I take another punch and let my mind go free. I keep looking back on those horrible times. I keep punching the tree and I keep trying to control my crazy mind. I can't stop thinking about what you do and I won't blame myself because I know it was you. You! I take another punch at the tree and I hear a snap. I do not look, I do not hold back. You make me do this every single day. It's all because of what you do and what you say. You! I hit this tree because of you. Don't deny it because you know it's true. My tears never hit the floor because I won't allow myself to cry anymore. You’re not worth the pain or the tears. You’re not worth the fatigue or the fears. You! It's your fault I hit the tree. It's your fault you never see me. Dad doesn't do it, neither does my friends. It’s just all you and your stupid hands. You! All you and no one else. I hope they hold this over your head when you go to hell!

-3/31/11-